Welcome!
[Note: if you were looking for Letters to Ames, you've come to the right place. We've changed things up a bit!]
I started blogging as a semi-angsty teenager, over eight years ago. I wrote of Friday night football games as bubbly captain of the cheerleading squad, and of Saturday night hardcore shows as bubbly straight edge kid with an affinity for underground culture. Several years later, I blogged about my travels as a missionary to faraway places, and about falling in love with a handsome musician and his two little boys. A few years after that, I blogged my way through a year-long engagement to that dreamboat of a man who is now my husband. Mere months after our wedding, I started Letters to Ames as a way to remember the sweet moments of my first pregnancy with the boy who would eventually become the center of our family - literally.
A little bit about our family:
There's Christopher - singer/songwriter, audio engineer/producer, worship director, & Mr. Mom. He's pretty much perfection.
Lucas Grey & Christopher Avery - the boys who made me an instant mom upon marrying their father. They are twelve & nine years old respectively. They currently love: football, arguing with each other, eating fruit, and playing with their little brother & sisters.
Ames Emmanuel - (prounounced "aims") the two-year-old phenomenon after whom this blog was named. He currently loves: speaking in complete sentences, eating 24/7 & still remaining at the bottom of the growth chart, using the potty, and tackling pillows & his big brothers.
Isaiah Jane & Honor Rose - our surprise twin girls who took the world by storm this past April. We call them God's exclamation points on our family. They currently love: breastfeeding, being held, eating 24/7 & still remaining at the bottom of the growth chart, sign language, and flirting with their big brothers.
Although I like to think I have a decent sense of style, I'm not very artistic. My idea of crafting is successfully threading an IV start on the first try. I gave birth to my son at home, on a stool. I gave birth to my twins at the hospital, on an operating table. We buy only organic & natural groceries for home, but occasionally frequent the fast-food joints for milkshakes (or in my case, a Big Mac). We love Jesus and gay people - at the same time. I'm a registered nurse and I decline the flu vaccine. We are the definition of moderation.
I've stuck around this blog long enough for it to become much more than monthly love notes to my son. Now, it is a place for me to document our life as a big, blended family of seven. It is a place for me to celebrate aspects of natural & frugal living. It is a place for me to make the odd reasonable, the expensive attainable.
I want to empower. I want to be relatable. I want to be a resource, a place from which people can draw encouragement. It's why I chose my profession. It's why I tend to over-share. It's why I rarely say no. I want people to pour me out, because that is when I am most filled up.
.......................................
FAQ
Are all of those kids yours?
Yes and no. Chris brought Lucas & Avery into our marriage, but I have been in their lives since before they can remember. Although the ex-wife and the previous marriage are two things I protect and will not discuss here, you should know this: We are all friends. We get along great. And we all want what's best for the kids. Sometimes, the boys' mom will come to get them and end up staying for hours. She absolutely loves Ames. He'll sit on her lap and she'll feed him snacks while we all visit and I'll get mushy inside about how potentially nightmarish this dynamic could have been and how thankful I am that for the most part, it's easy. Sure, there's occasionally conflict. But when it comes up, I treat it just like I would with any other family member. She's my family now. Because those boys are my family. We are all in this together, on the same team.
What's the story behind the pigeon?
Several years ago, I listened to Andrew Blechman talk about his new book on NPR. After the interview, I immediately called the bookstore and secured a copy. I finished it in just a few a days. That same week, Chris came upon a dead pigeon in a parking deck. Now, my husband is a very sensitive and romantic man, so I can only imagine what this image did for him. While he debated going around or over the poor dead bird, he noticed something else - the bird's mate was standing nearby. It eventually came right up to the dead thing and then looked up, almost as if confused. And wouldn't you know it, but that little bird spouse stood guard over its fallen partner. It refused to move, forcing Chris to drive around the sweet & epic couple. After hearing this story and reading that book, I was hooked. Hooked on pigeons. Without boring you for paragraphs and paragraphs, I'll highlight just a few things I love about the birds. They are excellent communicators. They are strong-willed and committed, in the sense that they will die of exhaustion from a flight before they take a break. They mate for life. They are an urban, street-savvy breed of the dove species (which means a whole heck of a lot to me and my faith). They are perseverant and resilient, able to assimilate in nearly any environment. They are breathtakingly beautiful.
Sushi while pregnant?!
I got this a lot when I carried the twins (and Ames, for that matter). Although it doesn't really apply anymore, I'll leave this one on the faq page in hopes that all of you knocked-up ladies and anxious husbands might relax a bit! [Note: this is from my personal research, which is a few years old. Open to feedback.] It takes a LOT of mercury from a REALLY BIG fish to enter the danger zone. In other words, small amounts of small fish aren't dangerous. In fact, small amounts of big fish are most often safe as well. In addition, whatever would make a pregnant woman sick would probably make anyone sick. It's the same with caffeine. The recommended amount for a pregnant person is what's advised for non-pregnant people as well (300mg/day, if you're interested. That's four 20oz bottles of soda). The point is, we should take care of our bodies. We are supposed to be extra careful when we're building a tiny little person inside of us. But in my opinion, we are to be just as careful when that baby is born, and we're breastfeeding. Or when they're toddlers or school-aged kids, and we're serving them dinner. Anyway, I digress. Sushi. I prefer the vegetarian rolls and the cooked stuff anyway, but I did eat some raw fish when I was pregnant.
What kind of nurse are you?
I work on a medical/surgical floor. This means I see a little bit of everything. I take care of patients when they get their knees replaced, and I encourage them to stand up on their new joint. I take care of patients when they admit with nausea, and I encourage them to fight like hell when they learn they have cancer. I take care of patients who can't remember where they are or what year it is, and I encourage them to drink more fluids so their lab values will resolve. I love it. I spent a few months on night shift last summer, and you can read about it here. Before this job, I worked with kids at a behavioral health facility. I loved that, too. In fact, I wrote those sweet children a letter shortly before I left. You can read it here. Basically, I just love being a nurse.
What is a "marriage-centered family?"
I only wish I could claim the rights to this phrase. Chris & I have been living this out since we took our vows, but Andy Stanley gave us the words and logistics. We believe that the best gift we can give our kids is a healthy marriage. Healthy marriages grow when two people love each other completely selflessly, putting each other before everyone else - even themselves, and even their kids. It might sound backwards, but it makes sense to us. If we are in the middle of a conversation, and one of the boys runs up to us, they are to wait until we are finished (they have permission to interrupt if it's an emergency and have been briefed on what qualifies as such - basically just copious amounts of blood or loss of consciousness). We make efforts to get out of the house alone as often as we can. Let's be honest - a lot of marriages crumble after kids are grown & gone, and spouses barely recognize each other. When all the years have passed, it'll be just he & I. So, yes... I put my husband first. He comes before our five precious, vulnerable children. And because I am a wife first, I feel that I am a better mother.
What kind of cloth diapers do you use?
Having three babies in cloth is much different than just one! When it was just Ames, I probably owned one of almost every cloth diaper known to man. I liked trying them all, and I didn't mind sorting and matching and stuffing them all. But now, it's serious business. We've stripped it down to the basics. All of the babies wear prefolds & fitteds, with both PUL & wool covers. My favorite prefolds are unbleached Indian cotton (various brands), and my favorite fitteds are Goodmamas. We use Thirsties and Bummis covers, as well as a hodge-podge of mama-made wool soakers/shorties (I also like Disana & Sloomb). You can read about our cloth journey here and here. Ames is now potty-trained by day, and he sleeps in disposables. We are no match for ammonia.
Are you guys going to have any more kids?
Sometimes, I think about how many kids I'd like - if I didn't have kids so close together, or if I didn't have twins, or if I didn't have stepchildren. But none of that matters. Because we do have five children, three of which are two years and under. I want our youngest to know and love our eldest. Chris wants to keep going, but I'm feeling like we are done. And it's definitely bittersweet.
