letters to ames

things i'm clickin' this week

2012-02-02T08:55:00.005-05:00

this advice.
this announcement.
this song.
this vote site.

This morning, IJ & I are headed to the neurologist.
This week, she's begun to army crawl and sit on her own.
Chris says it's the prayer time he had. He noticed an immediate difference.

Me: Oh, was it an intense time with the Lord?
Chris: I just prayed over her in the living room. I didn't build a tent or anything.

happy thursday from the sisters!

our sweet Isaiah Jane...

2012-01-31T08:57:00.003-05:00

Aside from the fact that she was larger at birth, IJ has always been the runt. She's smaller than her sister and slower to reach milestones. Although I'm anxious to see her start moving more like Honor, I love the extra cuddles she gives while her sister is off exploring. Over the last few weeks, though, we've become concerned with Isaiah Jane's eyes. They're starting to cross more instead and more, even sticking for several seconds at a time on occasion. Her right eye is significantly worse than her left. She also bobs her head up and down slowly while looking at people, as if she's trying to focus.

On Friday night, I returned home from work to a girl who couldn't go two minutes without her sweet eyes crossing. I decided to call a pediatric opthalmologist first thing Monday morning. We already have a call out to the Early Intervention people (more on that later), but I figured we should start with an eye doctor. Thankfully, they had an appointment open Monday afternoon. Over the weekend, her eyes seemed to be getting worse by the hour.

When the time came, my mom came over to hold down the fort. Chris cut out of a meeting early to join me at the doctor's office. He wore her in the Ergo most of the time. People kept smiling at the bundle on his chest, with little feet sticking out. This was the first time the girls have ever been separated. We felt this silly obligation to tell everyone, "She's missing her other half...she's a twin!"

There were several bright lights, a few eye drops, and a couple of long waits. She did an amazing job. She nursed a little bit, talked a little bit, and whimpered a little bit while she snuggled against my chest.

The prognosis? Both good and bad. Her eyesight is close to normal, meaning she's not a candidate for glasses...yet. Her eye-crossing is intermittent instead of constant, meaning she's not a candidate for surgery...yet. We were instructed to patch her good eye for her an hour each day and follow up in two months. She hinted that Isaiah Jane is probably going to be diagnosed with strabismus down the road. I also got the impression that if she's going to need either of the two above-mentioned interventions, that there's not much we can do to stop it.

This was discouraging to me, because I felt like I was being told to watch my daughter deteriorate and just keep an eye on her (pun absolutely intended). I know this isn't life-threatening, and that there are families out there struggling with a lot worse. But I also know if you don't use it, you lose it. It's what I tell my patients every day. She will most likely lose her vision in one eye if things don't improve. But because they're not bad enough yet, I'm just supposed to wait?

We've got a few more consults to check off the list before I take a deep breath. Isaiah Jane performed her head bob very nicely for the opthalmologist, but I got a different reaction than I anticipated. She stopped talking and just stared at IJ, calling it "interesting" over and over. She said that it did not appear to be in any way related to Isaiah Jane's eyes, and asked if we'd been referred to a neurologist. I said that we had not, but don't you know I made an appointment with one on the way home. She'll see someone this week. I guess it's good to rule out the scary stuff first, and work backwards from there.

I've also recently been introduced to the idea of Vision Therapy. A friend talked me through her journey with her sweet daughter, and she gave me a few contacts in the area (I'm full of eye puns today). One of the local developmental optometrists offers free screenings on kids under 12 months, so I'm going to start there. Vision Therapy is very very very expensive and not covered by insurance, but we'll see what the doctor recommends. I agree that interventions like surgery should be a last resort, and I'm interested to hear about the program.

Lastly, I've been toying with the idea of Early Intervention. Thanks to a lot of you, I've discovered the program and its benefits in the last few months. I'm not too keen on hearing about all of the delays my kids have, based on charts and statistics. I am, however, absolutely open to the idea of a free assessment and another opinion. I'm not going to put my head in the sand. I know my daughter should be showing greater muscle control and efforts with mobility than she is right now. I placed a call last week, and I expect hear from an intake specialist any day now.

In the meantime, we will do the patching and the praying and the waiting and the snuggling. They only had boy patches at the eye doctor's, so IJ is rocking some sweet trains and bugs and who knows what else. She's only fussed with it one time. For the most part, she seems to not even notice.

I've felt the worry creeping up for months now, and the other night I finally let it out and had a good cry. As a parent, I want the best for my children. As a parent, I feel the weight of the possibility that my kids' lives may not turn out the way I anticipated. As a mother, that weight seems to take on the form of guilt.

There I was in the nursery, blubbering on about all the what-ifs. What if I had pushed harder with the PA last time we were there for a well visit? What if I'd seen a doctor instead of a PA? What if Isaiah Jane gets sick from all of these upcoming consults and appointments, after I've been trying to keep her healthy all winter? What if she has to fight for things her whole life, things the rest of us take for granted? All of those nagging thoughts that occasionally pop into my head seemed to just come pouring out of my mouth. It wasn't just about IJ's eyes. I ran down the list of all of the things that seem to be "wrong" with all of my kids.

And then my knight in shining armor stepped in. He grabbed my face, kissed it (probably to shut me up), and spoke truth to my heart. Our children are perfect, he told me. They were created exactly as they were supposed to be. If there is an eye issue or a size issue or any other issue - then it's there for a reason. We will work through it. Our children are perfect. And that's that.

things that are new

2012-01-30T07:00:00.001-05:00

Blogger has finally addressed the serious deficit in its comments settings... We can now reply to individual comments! So glad to have stumbled upon this, via Danielle of Sometimes Sweet.

The carpet is going - we ordered our new floors yesterday! We went with laminate hardwoods, in order to keep things affordable and match the new construction vibe of our house. The plan is to cover the entire downstairs and the bedrooms upstairs. Chris is going to be putting them in himself, all 1600 square feet of them... things are about to get interesting up in here.

We're finally moving forward with a blog redesign! A new name & a new look are on the way. Can't wait to see what Jessi does! Stay tuned for more info.

After a few months off, monthly ad space sponsorship is back! I'm seriously considering attending BlogHer in NYC this year, and I humbly invite you to support me in this dream. Email me for more information & rates.

Lastly, I convinced Chris to go pink in the bedroom! He painted the wall opposite our bed. Red is the main accent color in our room, so I acted a lot more confident than I felt. I am SO pleased with the result!

a giveaway - Comotomo

2012-01-28T16:11:00.003-05:00

To this day, I've yet to feed the girls a bottle. That is 100% Christopher's department of expertise. For the sake of milk supply and convenience, they get it straight from the tap when I'm around... which is why I had to laugh when I first opened the package Comotomo sent us. Inside were two of their "new natural feel baby bottles." We've been using them exclusively for about a month now. As for my own personal review, I had to default to Chris. I sent him a text message, asking him to give me some feedback.

There's a natural feel, alright! The entire bottom portion is made of flexible silicone and is very squishy. Because the girls are older, I can't vouch for the claim that they reduce colic. But they do not leak, like our other flexible silicone bottles do. I also like that they are easy to break down and clean. There aren't a lot of confusing parts. The chance for mold and mildew seems to be slim to none! Comotomo is still very new, but this cute little video should give you an idea of their product...

The folks at Comotomo have kindly offered up a giveaway on the blog, too! One of you will win a starter kit: three bottles (color & size of your own choosing), one 3-hole nipple pack, & one variable flow nipple pack.

To enter, "Like" their Facebook page. Then leave me a note below.

I'll draw a winner next Saturday. Thanks, and have a great weekend!

Resolutions upon which I've stumbled, PART 3

2012-01-26T07:00:00.001-05:00

Wrapping up this little mini-series with two heavier resolutions that go hand-in-hand...

THINGS ABOVE

It's not about me. It's so simple to write, and yet so hard to live. But this year, I'm going to do my best to live for someone else on a daily basis. It might be a homeless person who hungers, or my sweet daughters who wake in the middle of the night, or a patient who needs me to stay late. What I'm learning to live is most definitely Biblical, but you don't have to be a Christian to get it. When we're pouring out, we're filling up. I'm learning how to feel the weight of it, how to see the world the way He does. I'm trying to get a kingdom perspective here. I'm trying to set my mind on things above.

LOVE WITH OPEN HANDS

I've made references to money on occasion, but I'm going to lay it out here very plainly - I am a Scrooge. I'm fiercely protective of my family's resources. I have a hard time letting go because I worry about the future too much. But as I gain insight on what it means to "set my mind on things above," I gain insight on my finances. They are not mine to begin with. I am a steward. And if I'm a responsible one, there is no need to worry. So this year, we're revisiting our Dave Ramsey cash flow plan. And this time, we're giving more radically. Like, until it hurts. We teach our boys to love their stuff (and each other) with open hands, and it's time for us to practice what we preach.

Ridge Here and Now from Ridge Church on Vimeo.

wordless wednesday: real life.

2012-01-25T07:00:00.002-05:00

Isaiah Jane is not pictured. She was hanging from the door frame.

Honor pulls up on this mirror every day. She smears her baby goo all over the place.

It makes me mad & happy at the exact same time.

the baths

2012-01-24T20:50:00.001-05:00

It's become quite ~~humorous~~ embarrassing around here, how long the girls have gone without a regular bath routine. I'm trying to count the total number of real baths they've had since they were born... I think we're almost to ten, after tonight. Don't get me wrong, we're not a dirty family or anything. It's just so hard with the sistesrs.

First of all, they go to bed early. That way, I can serve dinner with two free hands (praise Him). Then there are the three other kids' hygiene to consider. Those boys can get stinky. Also, the sisters are still so tiny - not at all sturdy in a sitting position. And lastly... good grief, there's two of them. We tried bathing them with Ames a few months back. It was unsuccessful, to say the least. Instead, we've just stuck to wet-rag-wipe-downs during diaper changes.

I've grown accustomed to the idea that raising twins is always going to be different. There are some routines I'll have to sacrifice, things that just sort of pop up along the way. Like meeting a friend for lunch with the girls. At this stage, it's hard to be outnumbered in public. Or rocking a baby to sleep. When one girl finishes eating, it's time for the other girl to have a turn. And if they nurse in tandem, they're most certainly not snuggling. They're too busy trying to poke each other's eyes out.

I'm figuring bath time is just another one of those things that is different for us. But tonight, I forced the issue. The girls fed themselves some dinner and were in obvious need of some soapy assistance. I warned Chris about the caterwauling that ensued a few nights ago, when I tried to bathe them in the sink. My lack of motivation has come back to bite us... the sisters are not fans of the water. We definitely have some work to do before a summer full of pool visits!

Chris volunteered to get in the bath with them. Ames offered his help, too. He loves a good bath party. The girls each screamed during their first few minutes, but they eventually quieted down. When it was time to switch, I dried and dressed Isaiah Jane and left her in her crib. I came back to the bathroom to retrieve Honor...

She was so peaceful, so relaxed. She was cuddling! Ames kept sloshing around and giving her kisses on her head. Chris looked up at me with realization. He even said it out loud, "I don't get to do this often."

I managed to pry her out of his arms and headed for the nursery, leaving him to bathe Ames. When I got to the girls' room, I found Lucas. He had tucked Isaiah Jane in, and he was kneeling down so that he could see her through the crib. He whispered to her, something about how pretty she was. She reached through the slats and touched his face. I just about died. We've been having a rough time with the eldest, and it was such a beautiful and redemptive way to end the night.

I've seen other parents' photos of smiles and bubbles and towels. I've read what a nightly bath can do for a baby's sleep. I've smelled that deliciously warm, freshly cleaned skin. I can only hope tonight becomes a regular ritual in the Kincaid household!

a recipe: kale mashed potatoes

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

kale mashed potatoes

I snagged this idea from a friend via Twitter. The sisters loved it!

Everyone knows how to boil kale. Everyone knows how to slice potatoes, boil them, drain them, and then mash them with salt and butter. Everyone knows how to add the two ingredients together. So why am I sharing? Because it's the little tricks we learn that make us successful & thrifty in the kitchen.

1. Mash the potatoes with a slosh of heavy cream.

2. To save time, make the whole batch in the morning. Refrigerate after it cools.

3. Reheat on the stove with a bit more heavy cream.

4. Use the kale that you might not want to eat by itself... the stuff that's on its way out.

5. Leave everything on - the potato skins, the kale stems. Whole foods, people!

Chances are, you already know and practice all of these tricks. Great! I have not always been comfortable in the kitchen, and I'm just now finding my groove. I'm always looking for ways to stretch ingredients and spend less money, while refusing to compromise on our family's commitment to clean & healthy eating.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #18

2012-01-23T07:00:00.005-05:00

a toddler with a new diagnosis...

michelle
__________

On 9/10/11, my son Cooper was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. You can read the whole story here, but we spent four days in the hospital and then we were sent home to manage on our own. It struck me in the hospital that they require two nurses to check a syringe before administering an insulin injection. Yet here they were, ushering us out the door with NO FORMAL MEDICAL TRAINING to “manage” at home. I’m proud to say we have managed. We do manage. We are managing.

Here’s how we make it work:

FOOD: As soon as we understood the role carbs play in the life of a diabetic (read Diabetes 101 for more specific info!), I panicked. Cooper was like any toddler and previously had a carb-heavy diet – graham crackers, Goldfish, cereal, sandwiches, pretzels. Carbs, carbs, carbs, everywhere you look! Our endocrinologist gave us permission to keep Cooper’s diet pretty much the same (making smart choices, obviously…choose Cheerios, not Fruit Loops!), and manage things on the insulin side. We count all of Cooper’s carbs and administer insulin accordingly. Did you know there are 20g of carbs in 55 Goldfish? I do!

INSULIN: Cooper is still on injections, but will hopefully move to an insulin pump in the next few months. The pump will bring a whole new set of pros/cons/vocabulary words, but we’ve got a good thing going with the injections. I feel a little more physically tethered to Cooper than I’d like to be (similar to how I imagine breast-feeding moms feel!), but Cooper handles the shots like an absolute champ. We prick his finger for blood sugar checks four to five times a day, and give an insulin shot after each meal and snack.

ROUTINE: Cooper was a grazer, so teaching him about meal TIME and snack TIME has been my biggest challenge. We’ve had to go back to scheduled meals and snacks and stick to our daily routine as closely as possible. We take our Bag of ‘Betes everywhere we go, so we’re prepared for what may come, but sticking to the routine makes things easier and more predictable for all of us.

PLANNING: This is key for us. I always have snacks, always have Crystal Light packets, always know when and where our next meal is coming from, always have my bag of ‘betes stocked. I’m a planner by nature, so this isn’t a burden for me, but it is something that’s always on my mind.

EDUCATION: Even though Cooper’s only 2 ½, I talk to him about what’s going on. I haven’t yet taught him to say “I have diabetes”…. it breaks my heart to even think about it. But we do tell him that he takes insulin to make his body work the way it’s supposed to and keep him feeling good. We tell him we’re checking his blood sugar. We let him participate as much as possible. He can load the test strip into the glucometer and likes to hold the lancet device to his finger and say “click!” I know he only understands a bit of what we say, but it’s important to me that he’s familiar with the language and truly does treat everything diabetes-related as “normal.” As he gets older, we’ll shift to food education and teach him to make smart choices for himself.

We’ve experienced a range of emotions, we have good days and bad days, and we are not perfect. But we have found a way to make it work, even in the midst of managing this disease. I believe it is absolutely possible and probable that Cooper will either be supernaturally healed of diabetes or they will find a cure in his lifetime. I anxiously pray and hope and wait for that day. In the meantime, we have a fantastic support system. Our friends and family have been amazing over the last few months. Our medical team is encouraging and informative and empowering. We have found a network of other families who have been managing diabetes for much longer than we have, and we lean on them for tips and advice. We are not alone.

And whether you’re dealing with a disease or a special needs child or a perfectly healthy “normal” family, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you get nothing else from this series, please know that. Everyone’s dealing with something and every mom makes it work in her own way every day. Whatever your personal challenges, find a community you can share the ups and downs with, and celebrate victories, big and small. You’re a momma. Make it work, girl!!

it's my birthday!

2012-01-19T11:34:00.005-05:00

January birthdays are a bit awkward. Because of the holidays, they sneak up on you and can be a bit disappointing if you don't plan ahead. However, I believe God gave me a January birthday for a very specific reason. I am a notorious "winter blues" gal, and I like to think He stuck a little bright spot in the middle of a potentially dark season. The Lord is thoughtful like that. And so is my husband:

Breakfast in bed, served on a pizza stone. He also wrote a sweet lil' note on his site and made one of his solo tracks available (see below), free for your enjoyment! I've only blown my nose a half-dozen times so far this morning. Also, I took an extra long shower with a fancy shampoo sample I found in my closet. Lastly, I think we're getting sushi later! 'Tis shaping up to be a stellar birthday.

&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://christopherkincaid.bandcamp.com/track/we-belong-together"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;We Belong Together by Christopher Kincaid&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;

Resolutions upon which I've stumbled, PART 2

2012-01-18T07:00:00.031-05:00

Here goes part 2 of my resolutions series. I actually wrote them all out at the same time last week. However, this one seems to be timed rather perfectly, since I'm still feeling pretty rotten and can't speak very well!

IF YOU LIKE IT, PUT A STAMP ON IT

There is a lot of talk these days about the loss of formality in communication, as generations grow and technology advances. Unless we teach them, our children might never know how to write in cursive or properly hand-write and address a letter. Society breathes a sigh of relief at amenities like spell-check, and the freedom to send a text containing messages like "U R GR8." However, English was pretty much my only strength in school. I'll always hold a special place in my heart for Elements of Style.

This year, I'm making an effort to slow things down and send real mail to someone every week. So far, it's just translated to quick thank-you notes to those who visited and blessed us with gifts over the holidays. But as I get into a weekly routine, I'd like to take even more time and substitute an email for a handwritten letter. Chris bought me an address stamp for Christmas, monogrammed and everything - fancy & grown-up, right? I'm going to try to run its ink dry by year's end!

sick days

2012-01-17T16:26:00.004-05:00

I've been fighting off a cold for a few weeks now. I try really hard to keep my family healthy. Crunchy granola people aren't supposed to get sick, right?! Alas, I waved the white flag this weekend. The girls seemed a bit under the weather too, so I kept them home on Sunday. We did make an emergency appearance at Target for some supplies while all of the boys were at church...

Yesterday, I managed through a short day at work and got home just in time to collapse into bed and pass out for a few hours. When I awoke, Chris had gotten the yuck himself. We stayed in bed all evening, watching Downton Abbey on the computer. We found some relief with medicated chest rub + t-shirts... A little DIY humidifier never hurt nobody.

Today, I called in sick to work. I absolutely hate doing that, but I simply would not have been able to function with this ridiculous cough, whisper-meets-burly-man voice, and faucet-for-nose. I also have to consider my coworkers and patients' health. However, I've been fever-free for almost an entire day. And the kids seem to be rallying. And Chris & I are now current on Downton Abbey. It's the little things.

In addition to getting back on my supplements (I've been slack) and sleeping a ton, I've made a little list of other things that have eased the wrath of the cold monster. Some of these remedies I got from you guys, so thanks!

Emergen-C - A packet in a small glass of water, twice a day.

Elderberry syrup - A teaspoon in a shot of water, a few times a day.

Puffs plus Lotion - God bless those things.
Medicated chest rub - See above silly photo.

Nostrilla nasal spray - Hate it (it's addicting), but it works. I try to use as sparingly as possible.

Ibuprofen - For the swollen nasal passages & sore throat.
Edy's frozen pineapple fruit bars - Like a cold cough drop.

Dr. McDougall's instant Hot & Sour soup with organic ramen - A good kind of burn.

Wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches - Definitely not organic.

Thankful for the improvement, but I'm three days in and officially over it. OVER IT. Praying for some overnight miraculous healing, but I'll settle for significant improvement. I don't want to miss another day of work... and it's my birthday week. Time to bounce back!

Oh, and take a second to download Christopher's newest "52" release... it's free!

Happy Tuesday.

&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://christopherkincaid.bandcamp.com/track/thats-that"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;That's That by Christopher Kincaid&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;

Mamas Makin' It Work - #17

2012-01-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

Let's hear it for a PPD warrior mama!

alyssa

_________________

Hey all! I’m Alyssa from In the Land of Lou. I married my husband, Chad, in January 2010 and gave birth to our first son, Jonah. Our original plan when we got married was to wait five years to have kids. That, obviously, didn’t happen. I found out I was pregnant in November and enjoyed an easy, wonderful pregnancy and an amazing birth experience.

What I didn’t plan on was being bombarded by depression after my son was born. I was in new-Momma heaven for the first day, when that night in the hospital, I had a major panic attack. I wanted a baby, but what I didn’t realize along with that came a lack of sleep, an influx of hormones, and constant helpless feelings that would consume me.

It has been an uphill battle since that day and since being diagnosed with PPD, but I’ve found a few things that help me ward of the “ickies” (as I have come to call these feelings). My biggest source of strength comes from scripture. I even had the words “Be Still” tattooed on my arm to remind me that according to Exodus 14:14, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only be still.” He can, and He will, get me through any war that Satan will wage with me.

My family and friends have been another huge help, never more than a phone call away and always willing to meet me for coffee, watch Jonah so I can run an errand, or just talk me through a particularly rough patch. I am so blessed in this area.

This battle that I fight is a constant one. The Devil knows my weakness, anxiety, and he will use it in any way that he can against me. But I Make It Work because the LORD is on my side.

____________________

Tell me how you make it work! Email me to learn more about this feature.

Resolutions upon which I've stumbled, PART 1

2012-01-11T07:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday as I straightened up downstairs, it hit me - I've made some New Year resolutions without really trying. I immediately felt panicky. Oh, no. The pressure! What if I fail to see these resolutions to year's end?! I wasn't even trying to make any for this very reason.

And then I stopped and took a deep breath. Because that's actually one of my resolutions, but we'll get to that another day. I'm gonna do this in parts.

I feel like we should give ourselves credit for making strides, no matter how big or small. The other day, I saw a guest interviewed about resolutions on the Today Show. She used smoking as an example and put a neat spin on it. Many vow to quit and make it through a workday, only to light up on the way home. Have they failed? Should they just give up? No way. Good for them for going all day without a cigarette! I absolutely love that attitude. I'm all about some baby steps.

The discussion on the show also supported the idea of making short-term goals that can be met within weeks or months. I liked that, too. So I'm running with it. Sometimes it's the worry of not finishing the race that keeps me from starting. It's time to give myself some grace!

I decided to make a few goals, write 'em down, say 'em out loud, & work on 'em bit by bit.

First up:

USE IT OR LOSE IT.

It's no secret that moms stay busy. I find myself moving pretty much every minute of the day, unless I'm sleeping or nursing. Let's be honest, sometimes I'm moving while doing one of those things. At this point in my life, staying busy revolves solely around keeping my family afloat. This means I can usually be found at one of three places - work, church, or home. I don't have a lot of social events on my calendar these days.

While I'm okay with that notion, there's no reason for my style or femininity to suffer. I'm already lucky enough to be able to wear the professional form of pajamas to work. God bless whoever invented scrubs! But that doesn't mean I need to show up to work with wet hair and no makeup or jewelry. And outside of my profession, I still need to feel good about myself - whether it be a grocery run or a walk to the park.

This year, I'm going to make more of an effort on my personal style. Specifically, I'm focusing on the day to day routine. Maybe I'll put on jewelry first thing in the morning, or use all of those fancy products I have before my hair dries (I'm being realistic - I'll probably never blow dry & straighten on a regular basis).

Yesterday, I traded my yoga pants for jeans and discarded my well-loved moccasin slippers for a pair of flats. I had no plans to leave the house, but who cares?! I can cook dinner and sweep floors just as well in a pair of shiny shoes.

I'm also going to (attempt to) ~~reject~~ manage the uptight attitude I have towards clothes. There are lot of people in this family and not a lot of extra money in the wardrobe fund. I am usually that mom - the one that hollers out into the yard for the boys to change out of their school jeans, just as they tackle each other into the mud. Countless times, I've chastised Chris for cooking or working in the garage while wearing a certain kind of shirt. The thing could be a year old, but I've got these categories of work/play attire in my head. His response is usually, "Rachael, it's a t-shirt." I also have a habit of saving certain clothes for the future, as if I'm going to come across the event that calls for them someday. I don't want them to get messed up, just in case! This especially applies to maintaining the kids' closets.

It's going to stop in 2012. Clothes are made to be worn. I'll do my best to keep our stuff clean and intact, and after that I'm going to relax. Or at least I'll try. I promise I'll try.

So that's it! I'm going to use it. All of it. More often. Stay tuned for part 2 next week! In the meantime, check out what Christopher is doing for his New Year resolution...

&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://christopherkincaid.bandcamp.com/track/dont-you-worry-bout-a-thing"&amp;amp;gt;Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing by Christopher Kincaid&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

a not-so-hot-bod update

2012-01-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

Several months ago, I addressed the postpartum (post-twin) body situation.
I decided to write a little update, because I've been sort of blindsided by an update of my own.

Here we are nine months postpartum:

I just took this with Photo Booth. Disregard my sit line... certainly need to work on my posture, huh? Anyway - The linea negra and stretch marks are fading, but the belly button seems to be here to stay. It's obvious enough to show through my shirts. I also have a hard time sucking in. Like, I can't. And I still can't sit up from a lying-down position.

A week ago, I got to talking to a surgeon at work. I asked him if he did plastic surgery, because I wanted my belly button fixed. His response was, "What do you mean? Are you sure it's not a hernia? Belly buttons don't just stick out for no reason. Maybe your twins blew you out."

While it's obvious to me now, I dismissed that by rambling on about pregnancy and skin and outies and how it seemed simple enough to just sew the top part back in. I lifted my scrub top enough for him to see it what I meant. Don't worry - there were several onlookers, we were in the nurses station, and my husband knows.

Here. See, doc? Right here.

He did what any doctor would do. He poked it - hard.
Ouch! That hurts!

"Have you not poked it yourself before? Do you not feel that little hole, where you can push it back in? You have a hernia."

No way. Hernias are what happen to old people after surgery, or little boys who play too hard. And apparently - pregnant women. He also confirmed the diastasis recti I'd already suspected. Basically, my belly is a hot mess these days! I don't want to worry about the latter just yet. He said he could see/feel a two-inch gap running vertically down my abdomen, where my muscles aren't meeting. It's painful at times and I feel like I'll never be able to do a perfect sit-up again. BUT... there's a chance that will improve and even resolve over time, and the surgical repair sounded like a cross between a c-section and a tummy tuck. There is no way on God's green Earth that I am willingly subjecting myself to a recovery like that ever again.

But the hernia? I have a hernia?! Every time I laugh or cough or pick Ames up, I think about it. I envision my guts squirting like sausage links through my abs - or rather, whatever is currently taking up residence in their place. I find myself protectively placing my hand over my belly every time I think about it. I have a hernia?!

I know it needs to be fixed. I found this story and very much relate to it. We don't want it getting worse over time, and it may help with some of the tenderness I've been chalking up to c-section recovery all this time. Umbilical hernias seem to be the least complicated type, and they're repaired on an outpatient basis with a quick recovery. Not to mention (okay, to definitely mention) - I'll have an innie again!

But I am a nurse. Which means, I am a terrible patient. My mind is racing a mile a minute, like who will do my surgery and should I wait until the sisters wean and will I be unconscious or just sedated? Oh, and I keep googling pictures of people with hernias.

Any experience or encouraging stories, to help a sister out?

Mamas Makin' It Work - #16

2012-01-09T09:48:00.007-05:00

makin' it work long-distance...

Annie
_______________

Hi there! I'm Annie Blogging Mama Extraordinaire from Letters to Mo. I'm currently living the good life in an awesome little college town with the hubs, the babe and the critters. When I'm not listening to bad 90s hip-hop, making pins on Pinterest or saving the world one person at a time through my job as a medical social worker, I'm blogging over at Letters to Mo. My blog is written as a modern day baby book for my 9 month old son Cash (nope, his name is not actually Mo!). There's a little bit of everything thrown in, but mostly it's about our day to day adventures as a family.

My awesome family.

And sadly, part of our family is over a thousand miles away living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I haven't lived at home since I was 18 and somehow managed to end up living in Kansas of all places (I'm pretty sure no one sets out to live in Kansas). And although we plan to move out of state next year, Utah won't be our destination (I'm thinking someplace with more beach and less snow!). So Cash's awesome grandparents are forced to love on him from a distance. As hard as it is to be away from our family, there are new traditions and ways that we have to make it easier.

1. Skype. Now I'm not the world's biggest fan of new technologies. I *just* got an iPod and it's barely out of the box, my cell phone is the crappy one that comes free with the plan and I have yet to figure out what an Angry Bird is. But Skype is ah-maz-ing! It took a while to convince my parents to join (they are old school and I'm convinced they thought Skype would not only be able to see their bank account info, but their souls as well). But once I got them going, they were hooked. Skype allowed my dad to see Cash for the first time since he was born. Skype allows my parents to see him crawling and hear his cute little baby babbles. We try to do a weekly Skype sesssion so they can check in on their favorite (only) grandchild.

2. Daily Grandma calls. Every morning at 8 I am in the car driving my little monkey man to daycare. This is our Grandma call time. I call my mom and through the Bluetooth in the car she is able to hear Cash gabbing in the background. We use this time to catch up on what we're up to. If anyone listened in, it would be the most boring conversation ever, (it's a lot of, "he ate 3 jars of baby food last night!" and "I swear he never stops pooping!"), but to Grandma, it's riveting stuff.

My favorite picture of my mom and Cash.

3. Pictures, pictures, pictures. So it used to be that I would post new pictures to Facebook (doesn't everyone post too many pictures of their kid there?) but after hearing a few, "maybe you shouldn't curse so much in your status updates, honey" I understood why my older sister doesn't have them as Facebook friends and I dumped em. So now I email them pictures weekly that show what we were up to that week. Let me tell you, they live for these pictures! And 9 times out of 10 they are at Walgreens that day making prints.

4. Old fashioned letters, cards and a Grandma journal. I'm pretty old school, so I love getting things in the mail. Cash is 9 months old, so he loves chewing on the mail. My parents send Cash cards and letters that I save for him (they address it to Master Cash Trenton) which really makes me smile. And my mom keeps a handwritten journal for him that she writes in often. She tells him about what they are up to in Utah and stories from our family. I love that someday Cash will have this; letters from his Grandma in her own handwriting. I think it's just such a beautiful concept.

If you'd like to read about our day to day life, see pictures of one really cute baby and want to read a Mama blogger that doesn't talk about poop, come on over to Letters to Mo and hang out for a bit!

oh my oysters

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

We are headed to the mountains for a few days. The weekend after New Year's is one of my most favorite events of the year - my family's annual oyster roast.

I'm looking forward to introducing the twins to some relatives they haven't met yet, and the boys always benefit from running wild & free on my grandparents' mountain.

There will be shooting of shotguns, opening of Christmas gifts, and shucking of oysters.
The memories of oyster roasts past...

Y'all have a great weekend!

photographs

2012-01-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Blurb, I was able to create a sweet book of Instagram memories from 2011 for all of the grandparents' Christmas presents. It turned out great, and I like how accurately it documented the day-to-day of my family. I've been chastising myself for not taking more photos on our "real" camera. But it's rarely at arm's length. And those photo-worthy moments are so fleeting. I am definitely thankful to have my iPhone with me most of the time.

These are the only two photos I took of the sisters in December:

But you know what I'm learning? These two photos are enough.

In the long run, it just doesn't matter. I don't have to photograph every single event or day or week or even month. I will live through those moments, soak them up, and capture them when I can. Maybe I'll change my mind in thirty years, but I really don't care about documenting every visit to the pumpkin patch and every picnic and every doctor's visit. I rarely revisit the "big event" albums once they download from camera to computer, anyway. I cherish little moments throughout the day, and I do my best to snap them on my iPhone. If my point-and-shoot camera is nearby, then great! If not, I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Technology is advancing at the speed of light, but I am not obligated to tag along. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

Freedom!

introducing... 52

2012-01-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

When I met Christopher, he was a single dad in survival mode. In addition to managing a retail store, he put in an extra forty hours a week from home, in his recording studio. If you had the cash, he'd produce your music. Tons and tons projects came out of this season, with everything from rockabilly folk to heavy metal - literally. Some of the bands were rather interesting, but they helped pay the bills. Each experience also helped mold him into the artist he is today. He has become a talented producer, a meticulous recording engineer, and an inspiring singer/songwriter.

Over the years, the entrepreneurial aspects of his music slowed. We got married, we moved several times, our finances roller coaster-ed, our jobs changed, and our family grew. At first, Chris cut his business back to focus on his own music. Then, he cut back on his own projects to focus on his new job as a worship director. He's had to learn new programs and software, as well as an entire repertoire of other people's tunes.

A few months ago, someone at church stopped me to ask if Chris "ever writes any of his own music." I was shocked. Surely, they knew who he was and what he'd been doing around town for the last fifteen years?! I had to remind myself that we were pretty far removed from that season, as well as the local music scene. I had to be honest with myself - I didn't like the way that felt. As hard as it is living with and relating to an artist when you're aren't one... I know that's what he was born to do. I felt like we had to make time for him to create again.

I could sense it in Christopher, too. We'd have short but intense conversations about what it would look like to force his gift into his daily routines and schedules. Something was definitely stirring, but I could tell he didn't want to press the issue. Neither one of us has much free time, and I know he doesn't want to rock the boat by asking for my blessing to lock himself in his studio for hours on end.

I'll let you read the details on his site, but I'm excited to announce the birth of 52. I don't think I've ever been more excited for Christopher's music. This project is going to take him to new heights, and he's sharing the ride with the rest of us. Tuesdays never sounded so good!

Mamas Makin' It Work - #15

2012-01-02T07:00:00.006-05:00

homeschooling mom of four...
amanda
_______

We are a family of 9. To be accurate, 6 humans and 3 cats that you have to discipline like humans sometimes. (You know, like when they pee on your countertops, or eat the butter.) My husband is a police officer and works shift work. On days/nights he works he is out of the house for over 12 hours. Oh, and I homeschool- did I say that already? Not to mention our youngest who is now a year old has special medical/developmental needs. So I am at home all day with a 7, 6, 4 and 1 year old. Most days it is a joy. Most days I count surviving as success. Most days I need to step back and remind myself of the few ways I'm about to tell you how to make it work.

Number 1) Get dressed. Seriously. Take the time to get out of the pjs (even though they are SO comfy) pull back your hair, put on a little mascara and deodorant and remember that you are a woman!! I'm not gonna lie, some days I'm in my pajamas until I get back in bed - those aren't always my proudest days. But you know it's true that when you feel good about yourself you tend to feel good in general. Don't overlook this.

Number 2) Don't be boxed in. Be flexible. (I'm speaking in terms of homeschool but it can really fit in to any area of your life.) The wonderful thing about homeschooling is that it is inherently flexible. You decide, when, how long, what to teach. I can't start each day thinking we will begin at 9am and end at 3pm, everyone will be on their best behavior, there won't be any distractions, and lunch and recess will be the only breaks. If I think like that I get defeated before I even start. Make a schedule that works for you. It doesn't have to look like anyone elses. It can be different every day. A lot of times we find ourselves sitting around our youngest on the floor amidst the noise and chaos of his medical equipment. Sometimes we don't start until after lunch. Sometimes we school on and off all day. Give yourself room to breathe.

Number 3) Let things go. I am NOT an expert at this one yet. I still can't stand a dirty carpet or messy kitchen. Not that you'd be able to tell this by looking at my house, but that's the point. It still bothers me. I can't let it go and it can ruin my day. If I don't get around to all the chores that need to be done my attitude quickly adjusts to frustrated and short tempered. Try to remember with me that our kids are only this age for so long. We will have all the time in the world to have clean homes once they are gone. I would much rather (this is what I'm still daily trying to convince myself of) have happy children than a spotless house. And the fact of the matter is - it's true. I just need to learn to let things go.

Number 4) Lysol Disinfecting Wipes. Buy them. They clean any and everything. No extra sprays and rags. One wipe and you're set. Plus the kids like to help out with this.

Number 5) Embrace the minivan. This one hurts. My husband and I fought this for many years. Even after we were pregnant with our fourth we decided to go with a wagon (station, obviously, not covered) that had a third row over a van. Can you imagine a van?? The terror!! Of course then we found out his medical issues and then we saw his equipment and we could avoid it no longer. We were face to face with a minivan. The worst part? They are so incredibly functional. They make too much sense. They are comfortable and easy and spacious. I really can not think of one bad thing to say about it. Except, of course, that it's a minivan. I find myself thinking all the time "Why didn't we do this before??" So go ahead, bite the bullet, and get one - after the fight. You will be glad you did.

I hope in some way you find this helpful. At the least you know that you're not alone in your pajamas drinking coffee at 4pm with a messy house and unschooled kids. Remember to take it a moment at a time and sometimes just surviving is success.
__________________________

remember to email me if you're interested in being featured.
Congratulations to Callie - you won the Zuzii giveaway!

new year, new look

2011-12-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

Things are starting to look a little different around here! After over a year of the same old same old, it was definitely time for something fresh and new.

Since these posts are no longer letters to Ames, I figured the blog's name should follow suit...
The only problem is, I have no idea what to call this thing!

We often refer to ourselves as the Kincaid Parade. And you know how I feel about pigeons. I thought about combining the two ideas. Pigeon Parade? Pigeons on Parade?

Then I thought about using just my name. But nobody ever spells my names right to begin with. Would you even be able to find my blog? And shouldn't I at least try to come up with something witty & fun?

I can't make it all crunchy, either. Because I like french fries.

HALP!
Help me (re)name this blog?
I'd like to be able to actually put the money & effort into re-designing it properly!

a giveaway

2011-12-28T08:24:00.004-05:00

Our favorite headband makers have been very busy. The company released several new pieces last month. Zuzii specializes in baby accessories - hats, headbands, clips... even shoes, boots, & sandals!

I love the soft materials and the fact the headbands serve several purposes. They're cute without being over-the-top, they cover a good portion of the sisters' head in the cold months, and the comfy cotton blend stays on without leaving marks. I'm also appreciative of the affordable price tag on such a quality handmade product. Recently, the Zuzii folks were kind enough to throw a few extra headbands in my order and even offer a giveaway here on the blog!

In honor of the sisters' favorite Zuzii products, one of you is going to win a set of three headbands... choose from the Turbii, Petit, & Petal! Simply leave your name & email address in the comments below and I will randomly select a winner this weekend.

Be sure to stop by Zuzii.com, as well as their Facebook page.
Good luck! Happy Wednesday.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #14

2011-12-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

jess

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Hi there, my name is Jess and I blog at Notes of Life & Love! I'm a stay-at-home mom, and my day basically consists of navigating through the crazy world of toddlerhood and newborn muck! I have two gorgeous little boys, Nolan - who is two and a half, and Archer, who is just over two months old.

I've had to make a lot of things work in the past 3 years. I unexpectedly got pregnant with my firstborn, Nolan, early on into my relationship with Matt. Neither of us had jobs or any sense of direction at all. We went from being careless kids to struggling to get on our feet before our kid arrived. It was a trying time, but somehow we did it. Nolan came earlier than expected with minor complications {he had fluid on his lungs and had to spend the first two weeks in NICU}, and I suddenly had to deal with all the emotions of being a new mom with a tiny newborn in NICU that I couldn't really hold or do much for and constantly worried about, even though it was just fluid on the lungs. The NICU is a scary place for a 19 year old girl with no clue.

After Nolan was born, Matt and I struggled a lot with money. Neither of us had had much responsibility before becoming parents. Suddenly we had rent and bills and a baby to take care of, and it was a lot. And it didn't help that Matt was the only one working and his job didn't pay a whole lot. Before we knew it, we were drowning in bills and barely staying afloat. We decided the best thing for our tiny family would be to move 4.5 hours away to live with Matt's dad and step-mom while Matt went to school. Eventually, we moved out into a tiny two bedroom main floor apartment. It was super difficult for us while Matt was in school, but again, we made it work. It was the best thing for our family. I took on a babysitting gig to bring in some extra cash, and Matt started working part-time at a welding shop.

In January, we decided to start trying for our second. Even though things were tight, I knew I wanted to get my butt in gear for school, but I wanted to be done having babies by then so I could go straight from school to work. I figured it would take a while of trying, but it didn't... after not even a few days of trying {literally}, I got pregnant. We moved again in May, Matt graduated his program in August, and Archer was born October 5th. Now? I'm trying to adjust to this new life of two.

I'm still super new at everything, but so far we've figured a few things out. I wear Archer in a sling when he's fussy so I can still play games, colour, etc with Nolan. The four of us all cuddle up in Nolan's room for story-time each night, and I let Nolan participate with as much Archer related care as he wants. He helps me with diaper changes, brushes his brother's hair, and shakes rattles for him.

All the other tricks, I'm still learning. But I'm loving being a mama of two, even if it's harder than being a mama of one. It's crazy chaotic most days, always messy and I do sometimes feel like I'm being pulled in two directions at the same time and it's hard to be in two places at once. I'm trying to adjust to the chaos, and accept that my house will never be Martha Stewart clean. I'm trying to roll with the punches, take a deep breath and enjoy these stages both kids are in, because before you know it...they're in college.

Thanks for reading my little piece on how I make it work ;)

_________

email me if you're interested in sharing how you make it work!

a Christmas gift for you...

2011-12-24T08:09:00.004-05:00

If you follow me on Twitter, you remember me talking about this the other night...

Christopher had a couple of friends over (one of whom is my little brother) to rehearse for our church's Christmas Eve service tonight. Their harmonies filtered up the stairs and gave me the shivers. I couldn't wait to hear them live.

Well, what do you know but he tracked a song live and made it available for download? It's free! So if you like Christmas carols, or Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, you're in for a treat.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y'ALL!

&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://christopherkincaid.bandcamp.com/track/o-holy-night"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;O Holy Night by Christopher Kincaid, Shelly Moore &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; Tyler Brown&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;

own the night

2011-12-23T07:00:00.003-05:00

I must admit, I was taken aback by a few of your comments on my last post. Surely, my husband would either laugh or faint if he heard me described as laid-back or easy-going. I assure you, I am neither of these things by nature. Schedules are my safeguards. Structure is my middle name.

It's taken me a few years, and I'm still learning it everyday...

but I've discovered that babies are different.

Babies don't reason well. They aren't conscious of milestones. They don't have anything to prove. They don't understand should. So somewhere along the way, I simply stopped using the word. I let go of my schedules and my structure, and I enjoyed my girls.

I stopped reading baby websites and comparing milestones on mommy forums. I tossed the medical advice not backed by evidence & science. I stopped counting the weeks until the next stage - sleeping, solids, or sitting.

I declared war on should.

Instead of worrying about spoiling them, I try to memorize the way the sisters smell when they snuggle against my chest. Instead of begging them to sleep through the night, I welcome the dark hours as a chance to cover their heads with kisses and whisper prayers over them. Instead of obsessing over their slow weight gain, I laugh at how easy they are to carry around and how their clothes fit longer.

I've learned that aside from a few exceptions, babies sleep through the night when they're ready. They sit and crawl and walk when they're ready. They eat and talk when they're ready. No matter how hard we push and intervene, they dance to the beat of their own drums. It's frustratingly beautiful.

The sisters are starting to sleep better now, but what if they continued to wake once or twice a night for months to come? Some mornings, I wake in a fog so thick I have to physically shake myself from it. Some mornings, my head pounds so loudly I swear Chris can hear it. And since the girls don't sit well, I'm not comfortable feeding them solids regularly just yet... which means I've got to keep an eye on my milk supply. But even a few years of this seems like such a small price to pay, compared to the decades I get to spend growing old with my kids.

Child-rearing is both a magnificent honor and an epic responsibility. I must remind myself daily to choose patience. To choose joy. It's an ongoing process, but I'm learning to consider it a blessing to battle the night with my babies.

I'm keeping tabs on a few development issues with the sisters right now. I will follow up if and when the need arises. I don't want to sound naive or careless in any way.

I just want to protect the sacred.

And motherhood is just that. Sacred. Fierce. Powerful. Intelligent.

I am determined not to let it be tainted by should.

some sisters scoop

2011-12-22T07:00:00.001-05:00

They are somewhere between eight and nine months.

They have great hand-eye coordination.

Honor is technically bigger, but they are close in height & weight.

Isaiah Jane prefers her thumb to a pacifier.

Honor is a much lighter sleeper.

Honor is starting to crawl.

Isaiah Jane is a gentler nursling.

Isaiah Jane still occasionally goes cross-eyed.

They both seem to enjoy music, bobbing their heads to the beat.

They still love to touch, though it's developed to fighting over objects.

Isaiah Jane does not sit or stand well.

Honor has a husky voice.

They are officially on solids, though it's very sporadic.

They are sleeping through the night, for about seven hours at a time.

Honor has a tooth coming in on the bottom.

Isaiah Jane can keep herself occupied with her feet.

They weigh the same as most three-month-olds, but they have long torsos.

They love to be held - by anyone, which is a blessing.

Things seem to be moving at a snail's pace, but I think that's the Lord.

This is probably our last go-around, and I'm determined to soak it up!

changing it up

2011-12-21T02:55:00.001-05:00

If you've been around for any length of time, you know that this blog is no longer comprised of letters to my sweet son. It'll take me awhile to get everything together, as I significantly lack in the creativity/art/tech department... But eventually, I'd like the branding of this site to catch up a bit. I'll be sure to keep you updated, and I'm sure you'll notice whenever you visit here and things look different!

You can now find me on Twitter via rachkincaid.
If you're already following, nothing will change.
It's just a heads-up!

Feel free to continue to email me at letterstoames(at)gmail(dot)com for now.
I have a lot of thinking and sorting and work to do before things change.
Thanks for your patience and support!

three gifts

2011-12-20T07:00:00.004-05:00

Attention, stepmonster-haters...
This is a post about how this Momma grinch stole Christmas.

Our big boys have lots of family nearby, which is a huge blessing. But it tends to get very busy during the holidays with all of the meals, transportation, and gift-giving. By the time we all sat down to exchange presents at our own home that first Christmas, it was almost 10pm. The boys were tired & gifted-out. It felt anti-climactic. On top of that, they were getting bombarded with blessings from every angle... mom, dad, step-parents, grandparents, even step-grandparents. After our first married holiday season, we decided our system needed an overhaul.

Somewhere along the way, I'd read about the idea of giving children three presents each for Christmas. I thought it was a neat way to teach the significance of the gifts from the magi at the birth of Jesus, while keeping a cap on expectations & budgets. We presented the idea to the boys, as I certainly didn't want them to think I'd come into their family and taken over how much fun they were allowed to have on Christmas. Thankfully, they were totally into the concept!

The next year, each boy received two presents and their third was shared. It was a rather large & expensive item. They had so much fun opening it together that we decided to do the same thing again, and it's just kind of stuck - two for each boy, and a big one to share.

Since we've made the switch, they've never looked back. They've always been enthusiastic and gracious. Nobody has complained or asked why there aren't more presents under the tree. We try to really make it count by listening to them and getting them what they desire, as well as surprising them with things throughout the year. I promise, these boys don't want for much.

This year, we're doing things a little differently. Earlier this fall, we sat the boys down and explained our church's endeavors for this Christmas season. We told them that we wouldn't be getting the three babies anything for Christmas, as they don't need much & wouldn't remember it anyway. We also asked for their blessing to use some of their Christmas money to support the project.

Avery nodded his head and expressed the desire to shop for toys for other kids. Lucas listed off a few surprises he's received in the last few months and said he didn't really need anything this year. It's those moments, y'all. The ones where the Lord taps on your heart and says, "See what I am doing?"

Each boy still has two gifts under the tree. They're pretty sweet, too. It's fun to watch these boys grow and develop their own passions and hobbies. Their third gift, however, is an ornament from our church. They'll each open one on Christmas morning, as a representation of the money and effort they've put into this Ridge Church project.

Fourteen different families will each have a sweet Christmas, complete with pre-lit trees, decorations, presents for kids, presents for caregivers, household items, even furniture and appliances. The boys got to participate in every step leading up to this. They've shopped for toys, they've eaten pancakes at a fundraiser, and they've played with kids to distract them while their parents shopped for & wrapped gifts in the next room.

These boys have helped us do for ~~one~~ fourteen what we wish we could do for all, and we couldn't be prouder.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #13

2011-12-19T07:00:00.005-05:00

We've got an Aussie here...

sam

__________________

My name is Sam, I am 26 years old and I live in Sydney Australia. I am married to Nick who is a part time music minister at our church and a part time guitar teacher. We have a son named Judson who just turned one. I was a public speaker for a non for profit organisation, but I quit my job to look after Judson. Nick and decided that we always wanted kids young. The mothers in my Mothers Group are older than me by ten years. When they found out I was ONLY 26, they were baffled that I had a child young. They reminisced to the time they were 26, travelling the world, dating and moving up the corporate ladder. I just shrugged my shoulders and explained that having kids’ young was always the plan for us. I’ll admit it was rough going the first few months of Juddy’s life and the longing for my life before Judson did rear its head. However, I figured out five things that helped me stay sane and be the best mum/ wife I can be can be.

KEEP BUSY: I feel like my life is much busier than it was before I had Judson. At the moment I run a playgroup at our church, go to Mum’s and Bub’s Bible study, do graphic design work for our church, blog, meet up with friends, exercise an hour a day (this is only a recent discipline), make sure I do something creative on a regular basis, read, watch my favourite TV shows, listen to talk back radio, do housework, grocery shop, read my Bible and have time for my husband and son.

DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE EVERYDAY: I thought that I would lose my personality once a child came along. This did not happen. I know that there has been a somewhat popular stigma towards having kids; once you have them your life ends. I have found this to be completely untrue. Look I understand the hesitancy, when films such as “Life as we know it” portray parents as people who can only talk about baby stuff and their whole life, including music choices, revolve around the baby. I make sure that I still do the things that I used to do before I had Judson.

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND: I remember crying to Nick because I was sure that we would no longer be friends as I was convinced that this child was going to drive a wedge between us. So far, this has not been the case. Dr Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled “The Five Love Languages”. A "love language", according to marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapmen, is a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories proved to be universal and comprehensive - everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. When Nick and I first got together, I realised that his love language is physical touch. I make sure that I give him hugs, kisses, back rubs and hold his hand. These seem like small things, but when I do this, Nick feels loved and important. I never want him to think that Judson has replaced him.

REMEMBER THAT BABIES ARE WEIRD: I came to this fact when Judson was born. One day routine would work for him and next day he hated routine. Some days he would nap and other days he wouldn’t. Monday he could be very pleasant and Tuesday he could be a butt head. Once I realised this fact that babies are weird, it made me relax and I often have to tell myself this on a daily basis.

MAKE SURE YOU EXERCISE: When I had Judson I had all this extra weight that I needed to lose. My self-esteem was very low and I needed to do something about it, so I made a point to exercise every day. This consists of a simple walk to buy groceries, Tae bo, swimming, Pilates, Zumba and running. I used these exercises to blow off some steam. So for example, when I swam laps, I cried out my frustration, when I did Tae Bo I punched the air with every bit of irritation I had in me and when I did Pilates I breathed out any negative thoughts. I exercise when Juddy is napping or when Nick is home. The more I exercise, the more I feel confident, happier and clear headed.

__________

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the bag?

2011-12-16T07:00:00.013-05:00

Remember this post? The one where I talked about all the things I'd like to have and do someday?

I think I may have found the bag.

Chris & I enjoyed some alone time this evening, in honor of our anniversary. We did a little Christmas "elfing," stuffed ourselves with sushi, and even made a grocery stop - imagine that.

At the mall, Chris offered to take a look around Cole Haan. I like to pop in every now and then, just to keep tabs and make sure the classic style I hope to own someday hasn't died off completely. There are a lot of fun trends out there, but I plan on buying for life. I've never owned a high-end handbag. This purchase will most likely go to the grave with me, so I'd better make it count.

Lo and behold, this baby was tucked away towards the back. It meets pretty much every handbag requirement I've carried around in my head all these years. Chris encouraged me to hold the thing, and the sales guy even put my wallet in it for me. I kept babbling on about Dave Ramsey and how you're less attached to the purchase if you don't touch and how we needed to discuss it over dinner.

The best part? The bag is on sale... like, practically half off.
Which is precisely why I didn't buy it.

I need to sit on it for a few days.
People may think an expensive bag is a frivolous purchase, but we all have our own convictions. A nice handbag is one of the few things on my wish list, and it has been for years. Lately, it's become a more realistic idea for me. We've worked hard to get to a financially responsible place as a family. We've been generous with our children and others. At the same time, I've waited so long that an indulgence almost feels wrong now.

Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it the guilt of the purchase? Would I want this exact bag as much if it was not on sale? Will I be willing to pay full price for a different bag in a few months? I'm almost embarrassed by how much thought I'm giving to a silly purse!

It reminds me a lot of this post I read earlier this week. Jessi's words brought me to tears. There's something about motherhood that threatens to strip women of their sense of worth and value. I'm not sure buying myself a bag that doesn't hold diapers will completely cure me of my own insecurities, but it sure sounds nice this evening!

third anniversary

2011-12-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

Some sweet friends helped us celebrate our first anniversary. They sent us to dinner and kept our six-week-old son warm. No, really... the heat was broken in our rental house. If you were around last year, you got to experience our second anniversary with us. It was glorious. Today is number three, and I'm at work. We'll do dinner sometime this week, and I'm thankful for that. It feels like it's been forever since we've had a sushi date. And the sisters gave us their own anniversary gift - they've started sleeping through the night! Here's a quick trip down marriage memory lane, a few photos from wedded winters past:

Three years of marriage. Four homes. Two pregnancies. Five children. Two dogs. A bearded dragon that did not make it. Cooking disasters and victories. Arguments about vacuuming and compromises about can openers. Midnight diaper changes followed by pillow talk. Imploring God to move in our family and stepping back in awe as He obliged. It's been a wild ride, and we're just getting started.

I am blessed to call you mine, Christopher.

Thanks for choosing me.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #12

2011-12-12T07:00:00.001-05:00

a PPD warrior mama!

kelsey

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I am Kelsey and I write at www.365cunningham.blogspot.com. I started it as a photo diary for my family and it has evolved into my personal space. Thank you for reading.

I am up all night.

Nursing, swaddling, rocking, swaying, finding pacis, comforting, repositioning pillows, and shushing.

As a mother of two, this comes naturally to me. I own it, love it, accept it, as my children, Finn age 2 ½ and Cal, 5 months will only need me in this way for a short time.

Staying up all night is my norm and has been since the birth of my oldest.

Waking up struggling to breathe, hoping and praying for a good day is not. Postpartum depression hit me hard after Cal’s birth. Left me without breath in the morning. Left me a shell of myself, hoping for a small sliver of hope that “my normal” was still attainable.

As a counselor, I work with college students dealing with substance abuse issues. I listen, comfort, and provide support. Every day I do for others what I could not manage to do for myself. It was unfixable, felt that way at the time.

But I kept on.

I kept on nursing and rocking and singing and coloring and picking up and dropping off; working and cooking and meeting with friends. I started counseling and baked more. I read and talked and wrote and talked some more. I loved and cuddled and built towers and bathed and picked pumpkins. I washed my hair in the mornings, made lunches, savored coffee, attended birthday parties and watched ridiculous TV while holding my husband’s hand.

I lived my life. And I started talking about it. I started talking honestly, as pretending to be the mom I thought I should be was no longer an option for me. It wasn’t working. I no longer tried to be funny, no longer shopped my feelings away, no longer pretended to be perfect. I was honest and people were honest with me. Said that they too felt this way, that they too struggled “trying to do it all, trying to be it all.”

I made it work by beginning to live my life with integrity. With courage. With dirty dishes in the sink. I made it work by halving my commitments and then halving them again. I said “no” when I meant “no” and I said yes to more fun.

Cal’s birth was more than a joyous family addition for me. It was humbling, at a time when I needed to be humbled. I do not know it all. And I don’t care to. I live my life simply now. Some days are amazing. Some days are okay, and some days are downright tough to navigate. And this is okay. Accepting this and loving my family is how I make it work.

got a story to share? email me!

work-birth-work-funeral-life

2011-12-09T16:21:00.002-05:00

Wednesday evening found me at the nurses station, furiously scribbling notes and calling doctors. I was determined to get home and hang out with my kids before bed. I felt a vibration in my pocket and checked my phone. Sure enough, it was Nicole. After forty-one weeks, my girl was finally in labor!

I headed home to prepare Chris for the fact that I'd most likely be with her through the night and possibly the next day. Everyone had already eaten, but they sat with me while I crammed hot dogs and beans & rice in my face. I cheered for Ames each time he pointed at his potty. I nursed the sisters under the covers in my warm bed. I called the night shift charge nurse around ten, asking her to take me off yesterday's schedule just in case.

What happened in between is not mine to share, but Nicole pulled her son to her chest just before five the next morning. It was one of the neatest things I've ever witnessed. I am in awe of her, in awe of women in general. What a job we have. I snapped this quick photo of baby Lawson, hopped in the shower, and went to work.

No sense in staying home all day and messing up my sleep schedule! I somehow made it through another twelve-hour shift yesterday and returned home in time to eat a late dinner with Chris. We put the kids to bed around nine, and I eagerly followed suit. I awoke once to feed the sisters (they're sleeping great these days), but I never fully regained consciousness until late this morning.

My wake-up call was Chris standing over me, reminding me it was time to leave. He played a memorial service for one of my mom's friends. Last week, she slipped away to Heaven after a courageous battle with cancer. It was a beautiful service, full of memories and laughter and tears. As I learned today, she actually won in the end. Such a twisted but logical concept there. I'm still processing it. Things above, y'all. Things above.

Tonight we'll eat Mexican and try to keep the older boys from killing each other. They have a newfound obsession with football, and it's gotten very competitive.

The circle of life somehow finds its way into the daily grind, and it's all so beautiful.

and winter

2011-12-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

Have you listened to the Christmas album yet?

This year, you can download the whole thing for six bucks!

Your support will go to families in need... literally.

merry christmas!

crock pot goodness: potato leek soup.

2011-12-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

I skimmed over a few recipes and went to work on my own version.
Chris liked it. I consider that a success, because the man loves a good soup.

Potato Leek Soup

What you need:
heavy cream.
chicken stock.
red potatoes.
a leek or two.
butter.

Prep work:
I chopped somewhere around potatoes, peels and all.
I then chopped up two leeks, end to end.
Use it all, y'all... we're going for whole food nutrition here.
Throw it in the crock pot with some heavy cream, butter, and chicken stock.
I didn't measure a thing, but I'm guessing about one cup of cream and two cups stock.
I also used a little less than half a stick of butter. How many tablespoons is that?
I topped it off with some salt, pepper.
I think it cooked for around four hours.

Serve it up right:
Chris topped his with cheddar cheese and went to heaven.

Super easy! It's comforting and filling, but not without flavor.
I'm a fan, and I plan to make it for some friends again this week.
Having surgery? Enjoy some potato leek soup.
Having a baby? Try some potato leek soup.

I'm always looking for new crock pot recipes! Send away!

Mamas Makin' It Work - #11

2011-12-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

Yet another twin mama. I love 'em!

sandra
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Hi. I'm Sandra. I'm a 30 year old mom to 17 month old twins girls. I've been married to my college sweetheart for almost 5 years. I'm a new stay-at-home mom, and that's what I'm going to talk about, because that's how I'm making it work.

A little background first. When my daughters were born, I was working full time. My daughters were 6 1/2 weeks premature and were in the NICU for 6 weeks of my 7 week maternity leave, so I never really got time at home with my babies. When I went back to work, my mom watched the girls and post-partum depression hit me hard. My mom was an amazing babysitter and Clarissa and Veronica love her more than anything, which I will always be grateful for. However, working full time was never something I really made work. My marriage suffered, my home suffered, and my depression was at it's worst, which wasn't good for anyone in my family.

In July, my husband and I decided that it was time for me to resign from my job and stay home with our daughters full time. It was a big decision, budget-wise, but the day before my 30th birthday was my last day of work. So, these days we're making it work by cutting out ALL the extras. We've stopped going out to eat and even buying any kind of convenience foods at the grocery store. Instead, I use some of my time at home to cook and bake from scratch. My family is eating better than ever and our food budget is almost half what it was before I quit my job. Other things include hanging all our laundry to dry, instead of using the dryer. We used to hang some, but I didn't always have time. I go to the library, instead of buying books for the girls. It used to be quite a challenge to find time to get to the library. Now the challenge is wrangling two toddlers when we're there. Of course, there are many other things we're doing to cut our budget, but I won't bore you with the details.

These days, my mind is much more dedicated to making it work on a day-to-day basis. The key to keeping things going in my home is to get ready for the next day, before going to bed each evening. We cloth diaper and the diapers need to be washed twice, so I put diapers in the wash in the evening, and start the second wash cycle when I get up in the morning. I get my coffee ready the night before. I also ALWAYS do dishes and make sure that the kitchen is clean before bed. That way things are always ready for my daughters to get up and eat in the morning. Most evenings I also prep baked oatmeal for breakfast, so I have a healthful meal for my family without doing any work when I wake up.

Multitasking is another key to success. We reserve supper as family time, with no activities going on, other than eating, talking, and laughing. Breakfast and lunch are a different story. While Clarissa and Veronica are eating those meals, I do dishes, fold laundry, sweep, or blog. I eat my breakfast/lunch while the girls take their nap. While I'm eating, I fold laundry, pick up toys, vacuum, or start supper. I get up 1-2 hours before the rest of my family, that way I can do some multitasking then, too. I wash, hang, and fold laundry then (do you see a pattern?), I stuff the liners in the pocket diapers, have my coffee and warm up breakfast.

The other crucial thing to success for my family, now that I am a stay-at-home mom, is to stay connected to the outside world. I take time a few times a day to check Facebook, read blogs that I love, and write my own blog. I've gotten to meet a whole slew of fun, inspiring women by spending a little of each day in the blogosphere. I plan lots of free/cheap activities outside of the house. We have frequent play dates with a good friend, go to the local parks, zoo, and take many walks. We make our way to my mom's house to play at least once a week. And I always say yes when my girlfriends ask to visit, or for me to go out. I have been more social since I left my job than I ever was before. When my husband comes home from work, he gets play time with the twins and I get a few minutes of quiet to myself. This quiet time usually involves doing laundry or blogging, but it is time when I know that a crying baby is already being tended to and I don't have to stop what I'm doing, which lets my brain rest for a minute or two. All these things keep me happy, relaxed, and satisfied.

These days, my marriage is happier than it has ever been, even before we had two demanding daughters in our lives. I look forward to each day of watching and participating as my girls grow and learn and become lovely little girls.

______

Check out Sandra's blog, and be sure to email me if you're interested in being featured!

reader questions

2011-12-01T07:00:00.016-05:00

Can you recommend any pregnancy books that fit with your style? Thanks!

I definitely read a lot during my pregnancies! But in addition to the books I'll cover below, I also want to advocate for the Internet. I joined forums, I read birth stories, and I watched birth videos on YouTube. I still do that every now and then. I can't watch a birth without crying. I can't help it; I'm tender!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - it completely revolutionized the way I viewed birth. It taught me so much about our bodies and about how much our minds can influence them. I began preparing for a natural birth long before the time came. Thanks to the Business of Being Born, I am convicted of how little emphasis our country places on birth education. By golly, I was determined to know as much as I could before my son arrived. The book gives example after example of natural births, along with evidence-based teaching. Ina May is a legend in her own time. This woman gets invited to OB/GYN conferences to speak to doctors around the world. She even has a maneuver named after her, one used to handle a potentially-dangerous situation called shoulder dystocia. I respect and admire her, and I soaked up her words in the months prior to Ames' arrival.

Baby Catcher - such a fun read! It's quick & easy, it's captivating, and it's full of anecdotal teachings. I find the author very relatable, as she's traveled back and forth across the hospital/home birth lines for decades. Peggy has worked as a labor & delivery nurse, a childbirth educator, a birth center director, a home birth midwife, and a staff midwife in a hospital setting. As a writer, she's both witty and endearing. I can almost imagine what she'd be like in real life. I had my mom read this before I had Ames, just so she could get an idea of what kind of birth experience she might be in for as my doula.

I wrote a little about this multiples book during my pregnancy with the sisters, but I find myself recommending it to moms so often that I want to include it here. If nothing else, buy this thing for its section on nutrition! It doesn't matter if you're only having one baby. This book is full of education on intake and how to take care of your body during baby-baking. It covers all sorts of birth plans, too, so I got a little crash course on what to expect if the girls needed a NICU stay. I also appreciated the countless reminders that pregnancy is a stage that all family members can support and enjoy. The most important thing I took away from this book was that pregnancy is just as important as the first months post-baby. When you're pregnant, you literally have to eat/drink/rest like it's your job... because it is. It's a heavy responsibility, literally and figuratively!

A piece from Your Best Birth - although I enjoyed it, I found myself skipping through whole sections that didn't apply to me. However, now that I've had a completely medicalized birth experience, I can see how the broad approach (written collaboratively by Ricki Lake and several others) is certainly helpful. But this excerpt is one that has stuck with me, even years later. It still gives me chills.

"Creating life is goddess work. You are stronger, more powerful, and more focused than you've ever been. Life force is coursing through your body and you are living life in a heightened state of awareness... What might make you feel vulnerable also makes you fierce. In this state, you are amazing. You are going to access parts of yourself that you didn't know existed. You are going to face your fears... You are a birth goddess and you will do what needs to be done."

Sometimes that means a grueling transfer from a birth center to a hospital. Sometimes that means a few pushes in your bathtub at home. Sometimes that means praying quietly with your husband before you walk into the OR.

No matter the experience, it's goddess work, y'all.

It's why God gave wombs to women.

I'm a better parent than you.

2011-11-29T07:00:00.003-05:00

I used to write for a neat website called Modern Parent. I focused on topics related to frugality and natural living, and I figured it'd be nice to have everything in one space. I'll be posting my articles here every now and again, since my column there is no more. This one was written just a couple of months ago...

We’ve all seen it. The boy getting dragged back under the dressing room door.The toddler, barely big enough to see over the table, playing a personal video game system while his parents enjoy their meal. The mom whipping her boob out to nurse in public. The mom whipping her bottle and powder out to formula-feed in public. The girl screaming in a check-out line while her parents throw toys in the cart.

We judge parents all the time for what we see in public, practices with which we might not agree... I would never do that. She must not be strict enough at home. He must not get enough time with his kids to know what to do. She must think she’s better than me by doing that. I’m so thankful I know better, BLESS HER HEART!

Let’s be honest – we’ve all done it. We pass judgment as routinely as brushing our teeth.

Yet we sit around on the Internet or in coffee shops or living rooms, talking about how we need to build each other up. We need to stop judging, stop being so catty! Let’s band together and embrace all parenting styles. All that matters in the end is that our kids are safe and happy, right?

Yes. And no.

Only recently have I embraced a different perspective. I believe that this sort of parental judgment is unavoidable. After all, each of us raises our children the way we do because we think it’s best. Hopefully, you think your way of doing things is right – which makes other ways wrong by default.

Right? Embrace that! You are the best parent in the world for your child! You do a much better job at it than I would. Conversely, I’m a better parent than you when it comes to my own brood.

I think judgment towards other parents is a reflex, one as natural as blinking. I’m not going to fight it. From now on, I’m making efforts to curb the way I judge. I know I cannot stop doing it completely, but I can take measures to keep myself from becoming ugly or pretentious about it.

For example: When I see another boy behave the way my son did before we changed his diet, I can’t help but think that maybe his parents just haven’t figured it out yet. If they knew what we knew, surely he wouldn’t be holding that soda. And that’s okay. I’m entitled to think that. But might I also stop to think that maybe they are already addressing it? Maybe the behavior I’m seeing is an improvement from the day before? Maybe he earned that soda?

When I see a woman feeding a tiny baby from a bottle, my first thought is one of pity. What if that mother and baby never know what it’s like to breastfeed? It just pops into my head. I can’t help feeling so passionately about something. But what if it’s expressed breast milk in that bottle and the mother nurses at home? What if she’s a breast cancer survivor? What if that baby’s adopted? What if they tried and tried, but were unable to establish a good latch or milk supply? Give it a rest already! I don’t know the whole story. Chances are, I never will.

So I will continue to think that my ways are best for me, but I must accept that your ways are best for you. I’ll be honest – certain parenting practices are different enough to put a strain on friendships between families. I can’t allow my son to spend unsupervised time at a friend’s house where (what we consider to be) inappropriate movies or video games are played.

That’s only fair, right?

But parenting practices cannot be different enough to make us forget our manners or our ability to process through situations as we come across them.

Judge on, fellow parents... but please do so with tact and class, bless your heart.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #9

2011-11-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

A crafty mama... be sure to check out her shop!

hannah

_______

Hey there! I'm Hannah and I blog over yonder at Little Words & Little Pictures. I just thought I'd drop by today and share a few things about my family and how we make it work around my home!

Ever since I found out I was pregnant with my first son I knew what I had to do. We didn't have much money to speak of, but all I knew was that my parents had raised five kids with hardly any money, and if they could do it we could do it, too. I was going to stay home with the baby. How would we do it? Well, first step -- lower our standard of living! We moved out of our lovebird apartment and into the back of my husband's parent's house. When it was time to move from there we went to live in a furnished barn. Then we moved into an adorable converted garage. It wasn't glamorous, but it worked! We had shelter.

Then, there was the money involved in raising kids. We haven't hit the education bit yet, but I think up until then we're going to do just fine. We realized everything we could ever want for a baby or two could be found at yard sales. NO KIDDING! Every time we go to a yard sale there's a bassinet or a swing or a car seat or clothes, etc. I wonder why anyone ever buys baby stuff new! I know, I know. New stuff is nice. But there's a fun sort of challenge in finding exactly what you want, second hand, at a super good deal. It makes you feel so accomplished.

Groceries can be pretty pricey too. But we learned to buy our essentials from Aldi (cheapest grocery store ever, eh?) and only the specialty items from other grocery stores. I recently realized that eating beans and brown rice isn't bad at all when you add a yummy sauce to pour over the rice and have a side vegetable. Of course, I really like steamed veggies..

And we can't forget fashion! How can I buy cute clothes for myself if we only have money for the bare essentials every month? I figure out what day is half-price day at the thrift store. I only ever shop the sales rack, ever. I learn to love vintage. Oh yes, luckily for me it's stylish to wear vintage. I can be frugal and fabulous!

Lastly, I do have a desire to contribute financially to my family's needs. For the first year or so I wondered how I could do that. I prayed and tried to be patient through the stressful times. What could I do? What did I have going for me? Eventually I discovered that I could get better at one of my hobbies and actually make some money from it! I've spent many long hours plying my trade during afternoon naps and late at night after bedtime. I've sat and labored away while my toddler ate chapstick (oops), scattered Tupperware everywhere, screamed, climbed all over me, and whined for a snack. I've neglected housework to meet a deadline. As I'm sure many other stay-at-home moms out there do, I've brainstormed and plotted and schemed on how to make more money.

..Somehow we always make it, though. Through the many weeks when there were no dates because we couldn't afford a baby sitter, somehow our marriage survived (gasp!). Through the lean months and the few fat months, I've actually ended up thankful for the trials we've faced and the stretching we've undergone by having two children and little money. It's these kinds of things that show you what you're made of and strengthen the good stuff inside of you. I'm so happy for the opportunity to do what I do, and I count myself ridiculously blessed to live this life I'm living.

________________

Feel free to tell us how you make it work!

Email me to get information on how to be featured.

thrifty threads: my little heartthrob.

2011-11-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

he's a rockstar...

Check out my ~~guitars~~ "terrarrs," Momma.

Beanie - Unknown (belongs to Chris)

Long-sleeved tee - BuyBuyBaby

Plaid shirt - Crazy 8

Black skinny jeans - Baby Gap (girls, eBay)

Slip-ons - Crazy 8

This kid loves music almost as much as he loves food. He has an impeccable sense of rhythm.

I can't bring myself to spend big on babies.

Extra cash in the clothing department? It's going to Momma & Daddy!

This outfit totaled less than $20, thanks to eBay and gift cards and sales (oh my).

I try to make items last as long as possible.

For example, the plaid shirt (6-12mos) is layered on a 2T tee.

I'm adamant about the kids looking decent when they leave the house.

I guess you could call it a "big family complex." Determined to beat the stereotype.

No ill-fitting hand-me-downs. No crusty faces. No waffle smells.

EDIT: Just as soon as my fingers typed the above words, Ames asked to sit in my lap...

His face is covered in dried oatmeal, and he smells like... pee.

But we are not going out, so it does not count.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #8

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

brooke
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Hey friends! My name is Brooke and I blog over at from under His feathers (the name is based on Psalm 91:4).

Becoming a stay at home Mommy to three children wasn’t exactly an intentional choice of ours, though it was what I’d always desired. Fate took the choice and the struggle of leaving my cushy corporate job and benefits away from me, which was a true blessing in disguise. Although unemployment led me to this new role, we are sort of victims of the economic downturn and the “challenging” financial situation we find ourselves in, because of course I could probably go find another cushy corporate job, but I chose not to and that’s where the victim part ends.

I was liberated from my job in September 2009. I can say that it was probably one of the best days of my life. I got that job when I was 20 years old, unmarried, and pregnant with my son. I’d been there nine years and grew through the most significant and soul-rocking changes of my life at that job. Now I was settled, happily remarried and stable and I wanted out. I had my baby girl who was 13 months old and I wanted to be with her at home, and had already been crunching numbers and brainstorming on how we could manage to live on unemployment + my husband’s income if the proverbial axe ever fell. It made no sense on paper, but sheer will and determination led me to creatively seek out ways of making money so that this could become a reality. Of course, my husband losing HIS job also last year was not part of that financial plan... sort of complicated things a bit.

Our situation has become rather dire. Our house hits the auction block December 6^th. My unemployment benefits ran out in August. We cannot seem to find part time work. The need to find additional sources of income has become absolute necessity. Desperation leads you to try to find ways to make money in any way possible.

What I want to share with you are some of the ways we have creatively generated income for our family and “made it work” which for us means keeping the lights and gas on, among other things. Outside of this stuff, we have had zero income. I know we are not alone in our situation, and I am hoping that maybe this might inspire or help some of you too!

· I’ve offered my (paid) assistance to other up and coming home-based businesses (photography, listing items on eBay or Etsy, cake decorating, etc) who will provide me with work and flexible hours.

· I’m into the business of resale… in every way possible – via Craigslist, thredup.com, eBay and Etsy, kid and adult consignment shops… need I say more? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Understand the value of what you find while thrifting or yard sale hunting and you can make a profit!

· For about 8 months I provided childcare for my nephew. This held us up financially for that period of time.

· My hands and feet + time = cash. Last month my husband and I washed dishes for a wedding and made $150! This is in addition to the cupcakes I decorated for that same wedding. We made $250 that day! J

· My husband is a carpenter and built a tree house for my Mom in exchange for cash. He also remodeled HIS mom’s kitchen for an hourly wage and the project held us up financially for 3 or 4 months.

· Learn to coupon… this may not seem like income generated, but you will be shocked at how much money you will put back in your pocket. Team up with other couponers to swap coupons – a friend of mine gives me all the organic/natural coupons and I give her all the rest of mine. You can stock up and save by buying more items that are both on sale AND that have a coupon. SouthernSavers.com is a good place to start for folks in the South.

Of course, all of this takes time, and as mothers with households to run and noses to wipe and faces to feed it can certainly be an adjustment trying to fit in any of these tasks. But, give a little, get a little, have grace and patience for the rest… we can’t do it all mamas, but we can do some, and put it all together it’s a mighty fine piece of work!

____

be sure to email me if you want to get in on this feature!

more kids, less footprints

2011-11-21T11:53:00.004-05:00

I used to write for a neat website called Modern Parent. I focused on topics related to frugality and natural living, and I figured it'd be nice to have everything in one space. I'll be posting my articles here every now and again, since my column there is no more. This one was written in the springtime, before the sisters came...

Upon meeting my husband, my idea of the fairy-tale family flew out the window. He already had two children from a previous marriage – something I’d not considered as a teenager, doodling wedding dresses and future children’s names.

However, I quickly fell in love with those boys and made them mine. I also looked forward to kids of my own, though. We were pregnant just months after getting married and then again when our son turned nine months old. Oh, and did I mention this last pregnancy turned out to be twin girls?

While it’s enough to make our heads spin, we’re not exactly breaking the bank. I have to smile when I hear parents complain about baby expenses. When it comes down to it, babies really only need the basics. We choose to cloth diaper, breastfeed, make our own baby food, and buy (nice, gently-used) clothes and gear on consignment.

With household expenses, we’ve incorporated the same green habits into our family’s lifestyle. We buy cloth napkins at thrift stores. They reside in a basket on our dining table – a colorful centerpiece and a fun way to remind the kids to use manners. For kitchen clean-ups, we use flour sacks and dishrags in place of paper towels. Instead of several different cleaning products, we usually grab the vinegar. White distilled cleans glass like a charm, and the apple cider clears up diaper rashes. We cook with both kinds, too!

Two benefits I've discovered, when it comes to going green:

Saves money. I don’t feel guilty when I buy baby clothes at consignment stores or on clearance at retail stores. He might only wear an outfit once before outgrowing it, but it cost me two bucks! In addition, I shop more frequently without spending more. Retail therapy with a twist! It’s fun to pop in somewhere and pick up a special item for one of the kids. Also, we’ve virtually eliminated miscellaneous trips to big box stores. No more “paper towel runs” resulting in hundreds of dollars spent on who-knows-what.

Gets the kids involved. I’m convinced our lifestyle keeps our boys well-behaved. They don’t whine about toys at stores. We don’t have to bribe them to go shopping. Our trips are intentional, well-organized, and almost always fun for the whole family. What kid doesn’t want to dig through a pile of old books at Goodwill? It’s like a treasure hunt! And because our cleaning habits are non-toxic, each child is responsible for helping with household cleaning. Arm an eight-year-old with a spray bottle of vinegar and water, and you’ll have a sparkling bathroom in ten minutes flat. Just remind him the walls don’t need cleaning … or do they?

While we care about the environment and do our best to treat it nicely, my husband and I have been pleasantly surprised with the added bonuses that accompany a green family lifestyle. There’s no going back now. Crunch!

a quiet breakfast for momma.

2011-11-18T07:00:00.001-05:00

Once a week or so, I take a few minutes for myself in the morning. After the boys go to school and before the babies wake, I make myself breakfast and eat it at the table in silence. I have never been a lover of sweet breakfasts. I need salt and protein to get me through the morning. This little setup only takes a few minutes to prepare, and it's like a healthy homemade version of an Egg McMuffin.

Momma's Signature Breakfast

what you need:

one or two eggs

a splash of milk

a sliver of butter

a slice of toast

a piece of turkey

fix it:

drop the sliver of butter into a glass measuring cup.

beat the eggs and milk in with a fork, adding salt and pepper.

microwave (that's right) for increments of 20 seconds, checking it often.

it poaches it in a clean/fast/magic way.

enjoy yourself:

i serve it on a piece of toast with a slice of turkey (and lots of mustard).

i also include a glass of iced coffee with milk or heavy cream.

Chris finally participated a few weeks ago. He liked it with cheese.

In the words of Plex the Magic Robot... Try it! You'll like it!

Happy weekend, friends!

some words & some photos on a wednesday.

2011-11-16T07:00:00.003-05:00

Over the last few weeks, I've found myself caught up in the Internet world in a much different way than I'd like. In the past two years, the world wide web has been invaluable to me. I've met like-minded and different-minded women from around the world. I've learned new things about everything from fashion to health to cooking. I've developed supportive friendships. I've found a way to stay connected with people even when I'm caught up in the "house arrest" stage of motherhood.

However, I've recently been reminded of why I stopped blogging in college. I am too sensitive for the anonymous comments and the critical (albeit, witty & oftentimes dead-on) websites. I try my best to avoid that stuff, but sometimes I find it or it finds me anyway. I'm not writing this post to stir anything up or gain anything. I have a problem with approval and people-pleasing. I already know this. I've struggled with it for years, with everyone from family to schoolmates to coworkers to total strangers.

I find myself staying quiet on here for days on end, until someone asks a question in which others might show interest, or until I feel some download from the Lord that I want to share. This space seems to be growing into a safe platform for women to share and learn, with and from each other. It's blossoming into something that fulfills me, something that's been stirring in my heart for years. I'm just along for the ride, and I'm humbled and thankful to be doing so.

But lately, I second-guess every post. Because I'm scared of... what? Criticism? A comment without a name attached? I'm not sure. But it makes my stomach flip.

So I'm working on it. To start off with, I'm going back to the basics. While I've got kids and tend to write about them a lot, I've always tried to stay away from the "mommy blogger" stereotype. I've avoided picture-filled posts of outings and weekends. I've refrained from repeating a bunch of Instagram photos that people have already seen elsewhere. Why? Because I don't want to bore people or give anyone the impression that I think my family is oh-so-special. However, this blog was started as a way to keep loved ones updated on my family's goings-on. Most of those loved ones aren't involved with social media. This is pretty much their only way of staying in touch with the day-to-day. We haven't developed a single photo print since the girls were born!

So anyway, back to the basics.
Here is a "look at my family; we took a walk" post.

Look at my family. We took a walk.

tips for new mamas

2011-11-15T07:00:00.003-05:00

I used to write for a neat website called Modern Parent. I focused on topics related to frugality and natural living, and I figured it'd be nice to have everything in one space. I'll be posting my articles here every now and again, since my column there is no more. This one was written when the twins were around two months old...

Get it clean right away. Babies are actually pretty easy & boring during the first week or two. They eat and poop and sleep and repeat it all over again every couple of hours. However, this is usually when everyone else has the most energy and motivation to help. So when people ask what they can do, put 'em to work! The Saturday morning after the sisters were born, Chris & the big boys vacuumed the entire house and dusted every surface visible to the naked eye. We'd already tackled the bathrooms during my nesting frenzy a few days before the girls arrived. So by the end of that Saturday, our house was spotless. When visitors came, I didn't stress about a dirty house. While I sat on the couch breastfeeding for hours on end, I didn't notice all of the areas that needed cleaning. It was glorious. And to be honest, I think we've only cleaned the house that thoroughly one time since. It's been weeks and weeks. The babies are more alert now, and having three under two is definitely hard work. It takes several hands to get through the day, and vacuuming has dropped to the bottom of the to-do list. So that's why I'm thankful we started off the newborn phase with such a neat home!

Primp & polish. I don't think I wore makeup for over a month after the twins were born. My hair was almost always in a ponytail (usually with crunchy ends, thanks to spit-up). However, I made sure to pluck my eyebrows weekly. I found some fun & fancy moisturizer, and I used it often. I needed to remind myself that I was still a woman, not the milk-zombie I felt I'd become. I took long showers, and I often wore a robe my mom had bought me just for the postpartum period. Whatever it is that makes you feel feminine, do it! You'll be surprised at how much time you really do have at the beginning. Granted, it might be in short chunks, few and far between. But you will have quiet time. Use it on yourself. And if sleeping when the baby sleeps isn't your style, don't do it. Just embrace this stage, and work it however you can!

Leave your phone. I'm much more tempted to call home and check on the kids when I have my phone right in front of me. It's only natural. So when I left for my recent hair appointment (see above), I used my iPhone to "share a contact" with my husband. Once I confirmed that he had the address and phone number of the salon, I told him I was leaving my phone in the car. He would be able to contact me in case of emergency, but I wouldn't have access to what he & the kids were doing each and every minute. And that's okay. He is their father. He is just as capable as I am, and I deserve an hour or two without having to worry about my family. I never did this when Ames was born, and I think I suffered for it. I became a martyr. So this time, I'm sharing the load and I encourage you to do the same. Share the worry. Share the responsibility. Every now and again, zone out with a magazine or some headphones (or a hairstylist) for awhile!

What about you? Any tips on how new moms can maintain some dignity & sanity during those early weeks?

Mamas Makin' It Work - #7

2011-11-14T07:00:00.002-05:00

A young homebirthin' mama. Doesn't get much crunchier or more fun that this, y'all.

Bekah

________________

Hi! I'm Bekah from Mylittleloves. Wife to my best friend Marc and Mama to Ocean (3/2009) and Luna (8/2011). My husband and I became parents at the ripe age of 19, ever since then we have had the question asked "How do you do it?!" We just do.

I always laugh a little to myself because its not like I have some secret,

you just adjust to your circumstances and make the most of them.

Being young parents we have been presented with several challenges, getting through school for one.

Having little income, not much support and few other friends in the same boat.

Those things have been easy for us to get through-

we shop almost solely at thrift/secondhand stores, we buy in bulk and are mostly vegetarian, we try to find some community wherever we go whether its at a local natural grocer or at the park.

We chose to start out young for several reasons and we are reaping the benefits.

One- more energy to keep up with rambunctious toddlers on 4 hours of sleep.

Two- my body bounced back from pregnancy well.

Three- when we have a steady income we will have older children that travel well.

Four- Ocean will be off to college when I am 37...

Five- we like having kids young, its fun!

I personally make it work by making sure I make time for me!

Whether its showering and getting beautified for my day or napping on the couch, I'm pretty sure the only way we have made it through some days is mama taking some chill time.

Also of extreme importance is making time for your spouse- sometimes we get so stressed forget we are on the same team with the same goal (most the time at least ;)

And thats how this Mama makes it work!

_______________

Enjoy what you see? Email me if you're interested in being featured!

lookin' for advice...

2011-11-11T15:02:00.003-05:00

First, I'm sick & tired of the ammonia. It only affects Ames's diapers, and it's random. I already got rid of our synthetics, changed up wash routines, switched detergents a billion times, and stripped the things with Dawn. We'll go a week without any issues, and bam - the smell that makes your eyes water. And sometimes, the pitiful burns on his bum. I'm tempted to switch to disposables for him, since he's hopefully potty-training in the next little bit. But I figure, we made it this far... cloth should still work for us. It's not a hassle, and we already do it for the sisters. Help!

Also, how on earth am I supposed to not pout when my husband leaves town? I know I'm uptight to begin with. I'm working on that. But seriously, I come scarily close to throwing a toddler tantrum every time he packs up. I can't help it; I just like being around him. It's also frustrating having five days off and not being able to do much (in or out of the house) because you're outnumbered by tiny wild beasts. Almost like not having any time off at all! But I will stop complaining. Thankfully, he doesn't travel often. We're most likely going to wind up like this couple, although Chris is convinced he's going to outlive me because he's more laid-back.

Lastly, who can recommend a good app for video editing? iPhone or computer; I don't mind. I'm looking to take the short videos I capture on my phone and turn them into something fun (and more polished), something that we can keep forever. Basically, an Instagram concept for videos like this:

the trash teaches.

2011-11-09T15:09:00.001-05:00

It is probably the trashiest show ever. But every few years, I get hooked on the Sex and the City marathons. I set the DVR to record one season after another, and I usually end up watching the entire duration in just a few weeks. Side note: the episodes I tape are edited for language and content, which tames it down to a somewhat appropriate level. Chris & I can actually watch it together without blushing.

The writing is creative and witty. The story lines are believable. And although I love the four-way friendship, it's all about Carrie Bradshaw for me. Whoever created her keeps me coming back for more. I love Sarah Jessica Parker, I love the quirkiness she puts into Carrie's character, and I love the eternal optimism and cheeriness she brings to New York City... a mysterious place, I might add, I've yet to visit.

Of course - there are the clothes. Carrie's style makes you feel like you can wear anything in your closet (or all of it, at one time) and still look like a million bucks. I have yet to see the second movie. I'm definitely interested. I just need to find a way to eliminate the crude language and the nudity. Watching that stuff on ~~a big~~ any size screen makes me cringe.

what I've learned from Sex and the City:

To appreciate my husband more. It takes a million episodes, but those four ladies eventually stumble upon the loves of their lives. They each find a way to humble themselves enough to let love in, and then they hold onto it for dear life. I'm only all the more thankful that I found my one-and-only without a ton of heartache on the front-end.

To stretch my wardrobe. Carrie teaches us to try layer upon layer of ideas. After watching, I find myself digging up fancy costume jewelry to throw on top of ratty t-shirts. I also make it a point to wear heels more, despite what I'm wearing up top.

To find pearls of wisdom in everyday life. Granted, someone wrote Carrie's life for her. But I seem to take away little nuggets from every episode. If only we spent more time pondering and asking ourselves questions like hers on a regular basis! Lately, I've been trying to not get caught up in daily routines, and to spend more time being thoughtful.

If you've never seen the show, you probably have no idea what's going on. But that's okay! I know I'm not alone. While doing my (Google) image research, I discovered several photo shoots channeling the show and Carrie's character - celebrities & common folk alike. Imagine how influential she might be if she was real.

My hats off to you, Carrie Bradshaw! Now, if only real-life women could pull off those bizarre bra tricks. That whole thing seriously blows my mind.

three things.

2011-11-06T14:20:00.003-05:00

Giveaway.

Congratulations, Deanna!

You won a Primary tee from Snug Attack!

Email me so we can get you set up.

Steppin' Out in Thrifty Threads.

Chris & I went to a friend's wedding last night. It was beautiful, the food was delicious, and my dress had pockets! I got it this summer at Gap. Thanks to their amazing sales, it ran me about ten bucks. I picked up the shoes yesterday at Kohl's, on clearance as well! Linking up to Harper's Happenings.

Sermon.

You don't have to love Jesus to get hit in the face with this truth...

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Gonna make this my mantra for the week. Wait... Can Christians use the word, "mantra?"

______________

If you're not in the Carolinas today, you're sorta missing out.

The foliage is beautiful... It seriously makes my stomach flip.
Y'all have a great Sunday!

kalepplesauce.

2011-11-04T09:00:00.010-04:00

I posted about this on Twitter a few days back, and several of you asked for the recipe. Now...I am by no means a foodie, I don't own a juicer, & I'm sure a ton of you already do this. But I recently discovered a new & delicious way to serve kale, and I wanted to share with those who asked.

kalepplesauce

what you need:
A bunch of kale (Literally. that's how it's sold.)
A blender
A mason jar

how you prepare:
Wash kale. This might involve some soaking, as it's very leafy!
Throw it in the blender.
Play around with settings. Chris ended up taking it down to "sauce."
Add some water or applesauce to soften things up.

how you store/serve:
Keep it in the fridge in a mason jar.
Add it to applesauce for a tangy treat!
You can also use it in smoothies, or even mac & cheese.
It's an easy way to get greens into kid's diets.

other kale musings:
I also mix kale with mustard greens. I simmer them in apple cider vinegar and chicken broth.
Avery went from calling it KRILL to KELP, and I hope he never corrects himself.
We all enjoy it, and I'm glad I discovered it for fall & winter!

family planning - what to consider?

2011-11-02T07:36:00.007-04:00

This post feels like one big repeat. I know I've made note of these thoughts over the last several months. I must have something else to learn, though, because this stuff keeps a-bubblin' up over & over!

All in favor of Kincaid parade expansion, raise your hand.

We'll go with the majority.

It's been super bittersweet these last few weeks. I tear up at least once a day, usually while I'm dressing the girls or buckling them into their stroller for an afternoon walk. Maybe it's centered around Ames' birthday. I no longer have three under two. These moments are so fleeting. In just a few months, the sisters won't smell like they do now, or wear the tiny clothes they do now. They will become more mobile, more independent.

In a way, I stare at the sisters and mourn the passing of each day. Like Ames, they are growing in front of my face. Soon, they will not make those sweet suckling sounds on their pacifiers. Isaiah Jane has already ditched hers in favor of her thumb. Soon, they will no longer need me for sustenance. We've already ventured into the world of solids and I am no longer the sole provider of their nourishment.

It is such a beautiful process, and I'm thankful for it. As I've said plenty of times before, I'm not great about the newborn stage, so it's sort of nice to get these days behind us. But I'm having a hard time finding closure. Do we stop having kids because another one would force us into a fifteen-passenger van? Are we obligated to send each one to college, or buy each one a car? With these beds Chris created, we could practically fit four to a bedroom. Where do we draw the line?

I feel like things are crazy now, but they are manageable. We can all ride in one vehicle to a restaurant and have a meal together. Kids aren't spilling out of every nook & cranny in our home. The big ones help with the little ones. We've hit our stride.

But every day, a small part of me longs for more babies. This article really spoke to me. Children are a blessing, not a burden. Children don't inhibit my marriage or career or leisure time; they enhance it.

I'd love to have another home birth, in this home we've built and created for ourselves. I'd love to watch the sisters get a chance to mother younger siblings of their own. I'd love to be able to give another baby the patience and affection I've learned over the last few years. I'm wiser now.

But I'll be saying that the rest of my life, won't I? Hindsight is always 20/20. I look back at Ames' first three months and weep, every single time. We're destined to learn a new trick or find a new product and wish we'd used it on the last kid. Eventually, even my ninth or tenth child would walk and wean and I'd be left without again... a sweet reminder to keep my family marriage-centered, right?

Some of these milestones are liberating. At some point, we need to leave childbearing behind us. We need to move forward and raise our kids. I am excited about growing old with them.

Someday, Chris & I will take a trip by ourselves.
Someday, everyone will be walking on their own two feet, hand-in-hand.
Someday, I will not have to pack diapers and snacks for outings.
Someday, we will all sleep through the night again.
Someday, we will come up for air.

But these days, we're drowning in babies and I love it.

snug attack giveaway

2011-11-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks to several of you, I discovered Snug Attack a few months ago. This fashion-forward couple (parents of twins themselves) designs fun, modern duds for babies and toddlers. I love their simple lines, creative use of color, and fun spin on letters & words. And hey, their clothes are educational!

Snug Attack sent their trademark Twin Baby A/B set for the sisters...

How fun?! I am obsessed with them!

It's the perfect matching outfit, with a little twist.

This thoughtful company was also kind enough to offer up a giveaway on the blog... One of you is going to win a Primary tee of your choice!

Please be sure to check out Snug Attack on Facebook & Twitter!

Then leave your name and email address below.

I will draw a winner Saturday.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #6

2011-10-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

a fellow twin mama, and a creative & thrifty one at that...

let's hear it for

kristi

____________________________

hey all! i’m kristi. the proud and nearly always worn out momma of boys...4 in 3 years! yep, ya did the math and it doesn’t quite add up right? let me give ya a hint...# 3 turned into #3 and #4. so being the momma of a tribe of 4 little boys i find myself makin’ it work multiple times a day, every day.

i'd say that the number one question i get asked is "how do you do it?!" to which i respond "by the grace of God, lots of prayers & a small village". which is completely true, but i've also picked up a few tricks along the way. makin’ it work means thinking on your feet & using what you have on hand. so these are a few things hiding in my house that function in more than one way to make my life easier.

baby monitor. it does let you hear baby’s cry in the middle of the night. but what if you’re sleeping in the same hotel room? my fav for traveling, just bring the receiver end and wha-la! a white noise/ machine. so much cheaper than spending $$ on one.

kitchen scissors. they aren’t just for opening packages anymore. since everyone in our house needs food cut into small bites, we bust out the scissors instead of the ole fork & knife.

crockpot. it’s not just for soups & fondues. i use it year round. who doesn’t love the idea of letting something do all the work for you?! there’s tons of great crockpot recipes out there.

aluminum foil. yes people, the reynolds wrap commercials are true. it really does make clean up so much easier. and bonus: you can toss it in the recycle bin!

ziploc bags. they can hold more than last nights leftovers. i buy the gallon size for when we go on trips and pack an outfit-a-day in each bag. i save them with names on them & reuse them for the next trip.

baby powder. not just for our greasy mommy hair! it’s the best & easiest way to remove sand from little feet & legs after a trip to the sandbox or beach.

my computer. it’s not just for social networking ladies. i use it to buy my groceries. not just from amazon, but a local grocery store. they shop & load the car for you. you pick up & pay at the curb for a small fee. but that $5 is less than i would spend on impulse buys. worth it? yes!!!

cardboard box. yes, it stores things, but it can be so much more. a fort. a table. a race track. and yes, eventually the fun will wear off, but good thing it too can go in the recycle bin!

iphone. it is my most used tool by far! i do love it so. it entertains toddlers. it soothes crying babies. it keeps us in touch with grandparents, aunts & cousins far away. it keeps momma in touch with the ‘real adult world’. it keeps memories.

so take a look around. there’s probably something hiding in a closet or a drawer that could be put to good use. cause that’s how make it work.

_______________

Be sure to check out Kristi's Adventures with 4 Under 4!

And don't forget to email me if you're interested in makin' it work here at Letters to Ames.

a tight ship.

2011-10-28T09:00:00.029-04:00

I'm gonna brag on my kids for a minute...

As one might imagine, we get some attention when we go out as a family. There are a lot of smiles, several points, and a few oohs & aahs. There is also the unfortunately common, "How many kids? You're crazy!" Chris has to address those people by himself, because those interactions shut down my brain.

My proudest moments, though, come when someone stops us to compliment the big boys on their behavior. They are polite and considerate. They open doors. They pick up dropped items. They look out for the babies in such a tender manner, it makes a grown man weep (even if that grown man is their dad and a weeper by nature).

I know that every child is different. I know it simply by looking at my own. But I also know that expectations have a lot to do with behavior, too. We expect a lot of our children, and we don't apologize for it. We run a very tight ship at our house. So tight, in fact, that people occasionally try to intervene during a time of discipline.

"Ames was playing with that toy first; that's why he tried to get it back."

or

"Avery's just being a boy. Don't be too hard on him."

or

"Lucas only interrupted because we was so excited to tell me about his school project."

We usually deflect those conversations with a smile and a comment about "teaching moments." I won't get into types of parenting and discipline in this post, but I do want to share two concepts that often run through my head while Chris & I learn how to parent our growing family.

Kids are like puppy dogs. We don't try to complicate things. When it comes to the basics, we don't allow things like personality and human nature and willpower to get in the way. Our children will learn to do what is best for them. They will learn this by repetition. Our boys will always be expected to wait until everyone is finished before they get up from the dinner table. They will never wonder if it's okay to watch TV or play video games without asking first. They feed off of structure and routine, and they thrive off of positive reinforcement. Like puppies. It sounds harsh, but it's not. It works for us.

Kids will rise to the occasion. One of our boys is notorious for performing a task sloppily, in order to bring someone to his rescue. Shoe laces are a particular nemesis. We used to bend down and tie them quickly for him, after he showed us his own poor attempt. Now? We simply wait. It takes patience, and often extra minutes built into the schedule so we're not late somewhere. But we will all wait until he ties his own shoes and ties them well. And we will encourage him through it. The same goes for making beds, or walking a little brother inside from the car. Our boys like to be challenged and taught and groomed for the future.

If you've ever met my kids, you will know without a doubt that they are not suffering from either of these parenting strategies. They are colorful, creative, and quick-witted. They know when it's okay to let loose and get wild. They know when it's time to straighten up and fly right. They're learning how to think critically and how to (respectfully) challenge authority when something doesn't add up.

A quick note about toddlers: I only knew the big boys at arm's length when they were super young, but I am currently learning how to handle the "terribles" with my own little man. Everyone has a different opinion about which year is the hardest. I think they're all wonderful, and they're all challenging.

Every day, Ames learns something new and flexes his muscles a bit harder. We encourage him to develop his own sense of self & personality, while helping him learn his place in the family. When it's time for a nap, it's time for a nap. I know when he's tired, even better than he does. It will not always be so, but right now parents know best. Thanks to this little "mobile time-out" Chris invented, Ames knows when he's messed up right then and there. He sits down, puts his hands on his knees, and takes a few deep breaths. He puts his finger over his lips when he's ready to re-engage his wild world. He's able to work through whatever emotions he's experiencing, and he's able to process with Momma or Da-Da. It's so beautiful to watch. And handy, too... how do you think we taught him how to leave his fun hats on?!

Feel free to share your stories and tips. We've got kids at every stage at this point. We're always up for learning something new!

Mamas Makin' It Work - #10 (early)

2011-10-27T07:52:00.005-04:00

We're going out of order here for a special occasion.
This is Mama #10, but...
1) Grace is due with her second baby any minute.
2) Grace just moved to a new city.
3) Give her some love!
grace
Hello! My name is Grace and I blog over at Camp Patton. I stay at home with our 13 month old, Julia, our one-eyed dog, Lucy and our 39 week old in-utero bambino/a due November 1st! We just moved to St. Louis and my husband, Simon is an OB/GYN intern and works some pretty grueling hours. During his most recent month of working all nights I found myself facing a lot of lonely hours and difficult moments.

Life in a new city with a non-verbal toddler has been a big, ugly pill for me to swallow but things are looking up due to a little more gratitude and a little less negative attitude on my part. Initially, I fought and resented the less than ideal situation that Simon's work hours presented. I spent many isolating evenings feeling sorry for myself, terrified of sleeping alone in our house and knowing that when Simon did come home the next morning he would need to sleep all day only to rise and return the work the following evening.

Fortunately though, I began to make little mini decisions throughout the long days and longer nights to be a more pleasant presence for Julia. Even though she isn't fluent in the English language quite yet, I'm sure she could sense my bitter mood and discontentment with life in general. I discovered that spending extra time reading to her, going over the ever-important barn animal noises and letting her 'help' me in the kitchen made our many hours together more memorable.

Instead of wishing the days away I had to choose to make the most of the many, many hours Julia and I got to spend together before the new baby arrives. I know we have many more rough months to come in the following four years of Simon's residency but I know that taking it a moment and then an hour and eventually a day at a time is the key to success and happiness in our little home.
________

Email me if you wanna show us how you make it work!

Happy Birthday, Ames Emmanuel!

2011-10-26T12:28:00.008-04:00

Two years ago, there was his birth.
Last year, there was his first birthday party.

This year, we kept things nice & simple.

for his second birthday...

tomorrow, he is two.

2011-10-23T13:32:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow, he is two.

I never thought it would feel like this... creating and building and nurturing a life that can't stop moving forward. I cannot rewind. I cannot press pause. He is literally growing in front of my face. I can do nothing about it, except enjoy & celebrate. And I am. I promise. I am enjoying every stage and every milestone. Every tooth. Every hop. Every word.

Tomorrow, he is two.

No party, no presents, no extravagance.

Just family and hugs and teaching him how to hold up two fingers.

Just stuffing jellybeans in his mouth every time he uses the potty.

Just watching Yo Gabba Gabba and wrestling with his big brothers.

Tomorrow, he is two.

Tomorrow, I will celebrate.

But today? Today, I am going to cry.

Just while he naps. ~~I promise.~~

your OB is not on your team...

2011-10-21T09:00:00.001-04:00

I wrote this piece for my Modern Parent column.

I've since scaled things back a bit, and I'm no longer writing for them.

I figured I'd share it here anyways!

______________________

A friend of mine wrote an eloquent & hilarious post on this awhile back, which you can read here. In the last several months, I've seen the scenario played out over and over, and I feel the need to address it myself. I can't throw a rock without hitting a mama who fully intended on a natural birth, only to encounter interventions and uncooperative hospital staff when push finally came to shove (pun sort of intended). Each story ends with a healthy baby and a happy family, and I'm certainly not here to judge. I mean, hello... I followed a spectacular home birth with a big, fat, somewhat elective c-section seventeen months later! But I want to give discouraged mothers the time and space and platform to mourn the loss of something they'd hoped for.

That's only fair, right? Despite what everyone says, it's not just about the outcome. It is very much about the process, about the culmination of months spent dreaming and preparing for one moment. If you don’t care about that, it’s fine. But a lot of us do. And when the option for a natural birth is taken away from a mom, especially by a healthcare team she trusted, it is a sad moment for the entire birth community. This is why I care. I'm here to empower and encourage. As a nurse, I get to look at a person hours after joint-replacement surgery and help them dream about the future. About crawling on the floor with grandkids, and sightseeing at their favorite vacation spot. I get to tuck a woman in at night, after placing her wig on the bedside table, and tell her that she will soon grow back hair of her own. These are the moments that define me, that confirm who I am and what I'm really doing on this earth.

Because of my outspoken passion for natural birth and parenting, I get the question all the time, “why don't you work in Labor & Delivery?” I must admit – it is so tempting! I would absolutely love to spend my days cheering you mamas on, teaching you how to breastfeed, and sharing in your most special & intimate of moments. But the truth is, I can't. I can't work in hospital Labor & Delivery, because I wouldn't be on your team. In order to explain myself, let me give you a little glimpse into how things work, at least at my hospital (which happens to be the second largest system in the country).

Physicians are not employed by the hospital. They are contracted by the hospital, to provide services in the hospital. But their paychecks, their guidelines, their authority... it all comes from a physician network, an organization that does businesses with hospitals. Doctors don't usually make the rules surrounding a woman’s birth experience. Hospitals have their own policies and procedures that even the doctors cannot control.

So a laboring mom gets to the hospital and is surprised when a nurse puts her on a monitor. Unfortunately, the nurse must break the news to the mom that the doctor doesn't run the show. This is a hospital policy. You might find doctors & nurse-midwives who let things slide or alter their own practice to fit a mom's desires. And that is beautiful. But as harsh as this may sound, a doctor is not usually going to fight policy for one mom’s birth plan. So as much as a mom wants to believe that she's found the perfect doctor, an advocate who's on the same wavelength, she must remember that a doctor's loyalty will always be to his or her license – which means following the rules.

The same goes for us nurses. As much as we want to give our patients a caring experience, our backs are to the wall from time to time. I cannot allow a patient to eat before surgery, no matter how much he begs and pleads. I cannot allow an unsteady patient to get up and go to the bathroom on her own, no matter how much she grumbles about my lack of respect for her privacy. If the policy states that all patients must have IV access, then it doesn't matter what a physician told a mother during a prenatal appointment. When she gets to the hospital, she will have an IV placed.

We are not always on your team. We simply can’t be. And I’m okay with that, when it comes to the medical-surgical world. But I’d put my job at risk if I worked Labor & Delivery. I can’t bear the thought of abandoning a woman at her most vulnerable point during a birth, just to follow (silly, unnecessary, & sometimes dangerous) rules. Honey, I would let you stay in that tub as long as you wanted. And probably lose my job. In the words of Dr. Marsden Wagner, “This is why, if you really want a humanized birth, the best thing to do is get the hell out of the hospital.”

Of course, there should be a middle ground. Women uncomfortable with the idea of out-of-hospital births should be able to have the experience they want in a hospital setting. But that’s a discussion for another time. I’d like to explore the possibilities of a career in midwifery someday. Right now, I’ve got too much to learn and too many mouths to feed.

In the meantime, you’ll be able to find me on the good ol’ medical-surgical floor, packing wounds and hanging blood!

wordless wednesday: first communal bath...

2011-10-19T16:01:00.000-04:00

the loss.

2011-10-18T09:00:00.003-04:00

I count it such a blessing that we've never had to deal with the death of a baby in utero. No matter the stage or progression of pregnancy, it is a life lost and a life mourned. I certainly don't take my fertility or my family or my life for granted. With this month being National Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month (the official day was October 15), I wanted to take a minute to honor a few moms who have been on my heart lately. Each has her own story, and each story has already been made public.

1) Jessi was overjoyed to find out she was pregnant a few months ago, and she looked forward to welcoming her family's fourth baby next year. At an appointment a few weeks later, though, they were struck with the news that there was no longer a heartbeat. She named this sweet baby Arrow; and although it tore her up something fierce, this season has taught her so much. You can tell by the beautiful things she writes under the label "miscarriage" at Naptime Diaries.

2) Kara has been very open about her journey to motherhood, over at Matt & Kara Adopt. When it became apparent that adoption was right for them, it took much longer than they'd anticipated. Longer, even, than any other adoption story I've ever known. However, they were finally paired with a birth mother and waited for the big day. That day has come and gone. Their boy was born a few weeks ago, and his mother decided to keep him. Kara's nursery is ready & empty, and her friends and family are grieving along with her this month.

3) Libba doesn't blog, but I sure hope she starts keeping tabs of her next few months. At her most recent ultrasound, it was discovered that Libba's third baby, a girl, has no brain. The condition is called anencephaly and is incompatible with life. Libba & her family have chosen to carry this baby girl, recently named Glory, as long as they can - even to birth. In Libba's words, "We are really looking forward to having possibly four more months to enjoy our Glory girl this side of heaven...we are open and want God to use our brokenness for His glory."

4) Kortney was still a newlywed, having married Benjamin in May. On staff with a pro-life organization, she was on her way from a conference when she died in a head-on collision last weekend. She was twenty-one weeks pregnant with a baby girl they had just named Sophy. They were working on a documentary of her pregnancy and had recently experienced a 4-d ultrasound, a video which has since been shown all over the country in Kortney's honor.

Each of these moms lost. Hard. Each of these families lost. Hard.
One of the special things about these ladies is that their hearts belong to Jesus.

I received a poignant anonymous question the other day, regarding Kortney's funeral.
Chris referred to the memorial service as being "all about the glory of the Lord," and the question said:

"I wonder if the woman's family would disagree?? That is just the type of statement that gives Christians a bad name."

I completely understand and respect the importance of grieving, but each of these families has their hearts set on things above. As Christians, we believe that pain & darkness rule this earth. It's how we can believe in a God who loves, and still admit that horrible things happen every day.

These hurting families dream of a place where there is no pain, no tears. When they lose, they lose hard. But they know that this is not the end of the story, and their souls are able to rest in that. The nights are long, but joy comes in the morning.

These women are true testimonies to God's faithfulness.
You don't even have to be a follower of Jesus to see His glory all over them.
I am in awe of that.

Mamas Makin' It Work - #5

2011-10-17T08:29:00.000-04:00

Heyyyyooo.... another RN mama!

__________

olivia

As a full-time Registered nurse with four pets, two kids, and a husband who works away for half the month, I strive everyday to do all that I can to make it all work. One of the most important things to our family is balance: maintaining thriving careers that we are passionate about, caring for our home and our health, and, most importantly, enjoying this life together that we were so generously blessed with. And so we think of ourselves as a team, working together to accomplish a mission, living each day and keeping our eye on the common goal of happiness and simplicity.

Here are a few ground rules that keep me afloat:

1. I keep a dozen or so running lists weekly. My husband and I post them on the fridge so that we are on the same page and can help each other cross things off. Lists keep my Type A brain happy and my husband's sanity intact.

2. I clean one room of my house, from top to bottom, each day. There is just not enough time to clean everything at one time so we prefer to break it up daily, preventing the household duties from overwhelming us.

3. I do one load of laundry (wash, dry, fold) each day. Again, it's all about baby steps to keep you from getting bogged down. Laundry is the first chore that comes up in conversation when my girlfriends and I are feeling spent. By doing a little each day, "the dungeon", as I fondly refer to my laundry room, seems a lot less scary.

4. Multitasking is everything. In the evening, I sit my oldest daughter at the table for homework, occupy the baby with toys and crackers, cook dinner, and prepare lunches for the next day. I bath both kids together, fold laundry while catching up on TIVO, make games out of clean up time. That being said, I am always mindful to stop and enjoy the moments rather than being completely focused on getting things done.

5. Prioritizing is key. Will the house fall apart if things are out of place or errands aren't run? No, we will all survive regardless. Keeping the most important thing in mind at all times is what makes all the hard work worth it and that is FAMILY. Precious moments and quality time together: that is what it's all about.

We are a work in progress, our own little tribe trying to make our place in this world the best it can be. Loving each other to the fullest and living a life we can be proud of. I am doing all that I can and giving myself the credit I deserve and that, to me, is making it work!

Check out Liv's sweet family at Soul Singing Liv.

& feel free to write me if you wanna show us how you make it work!

we're large and in charge...

2011-10-12T09:00:00.002-04:00

my water/sewer bill last month was $30.70

seven people.
two dogs.
three toilets.
four sinks.
two hoses.
one washing machine.
a husband who will never give up his shaths (shower/bath combos).
one son who all but falls asleep during his showers.
another son who sings entire concerts in his.
three cloth diaper loads per week, each with three wash cycles.
somewhere around six loads of other laundry per week.

our lifestyle certainly takes some creativity, some sacrifice, and a lot of the Lord's favor.
but for those who think kids are too expensive & cloth diapering wastes money....

there ya go.
-------
Edit: I should've included that our bill has been as high as $80 in the past.
Age and condition of appliances, as well as geography, certainly affect costs.
My point is that kids/diapers should not. Carry on, y'all!

the big boys' new wonderland

2011-10-10T13:11:00.003-04:00

The big boys are getting older and less into the idea of sharing their space. Interestingly enough, they have no problem when it involves wrestling. Late last year, though, Lucas announced that he was over bunk beds. We told him that eventually, we'd redo their room completely. In the meantime, we dropped their bunks into twin beds. While this created some boundaries satisfactory for Lucas, it seriously cut into their play space. The boys & I began to dream and save up for new beds. We put all of our loose change and extra dollar bills into a jar in their room. Lucas made Lego models to show me exactly what he wanted (it basically looked like a cage & coffin in one, and I vetoed that very quickly).

When Chris got involved, though, he decided he'd just make the beds himself. I showed him several sites I'd come across, like this and this. But inevitably, he drew up his own plans and went to work. We put the money we'd saved towards new furnishings instead. Within a week, the boys had their very own spa oasis treehouse (the theme I kept repeating over and over as we designed and purchased and decorated). It creates the exact vibe we were looking for... I'm blogging this from their new room while they're at school, if that tells you anything. It's still got a ways to go, here's what it looks like today!

Chris built the beds from lumber, whitewashed them with paint, and hung them from studs in the wall and the ceiling. We are in the market for an old ladder to install on the wall. They're using a stepladder to get up there in the meantime!

We chose neutral fabrics for the linens and bright colors & prints for the accents. I wanted the boys' bedding to match, but the accessories to reflect their own personalities. Each son chose how to lay his own bedding, too... Lucas wanted his comforter backwards, so that the flowers "crawl like vines" down his bed.

The workspace under each bed is one of my favorite parts of the room. The desks fold up against the wall, which allows for less clutter and more play area. The chairs and shelves create a personal library for each boy. Of course, Lucas couldn't wait to stock his space with his coin collection and other secret treasures.

One of the things for which the boys kept asking was bed curtains. They basically wanted to live in a fort. We hung netted curtains on a piece of twine. I think it keeps things light & airy, while giving them privacy when they want it.

Chris hung the rumpled paper lantern and the boys' new laundry basket with unfinished pieces of lumber. I love the rough, boyish details he added to the room!

We've always had maps hanging in their room. To frame them out for this makeover, we bought some chair railing and painted black. Chris also hung lanterns from twine, to add to the treehouse feel. I'm going to pick up some of those flameless votive candles for those at some point.

Zephaniah 3:17 is the life verse we've chosen for our children. Thanks to Naptime Diaries, each one has a copy in "their" color. We presented them to the kids at their dedication in May. For the room makeover, we hung these in a spot for the boys to see every time they walk into the room.

I am so excited about this and proud of my husband's hard work. The boys have waited patiently for so long, and I am thankful to finally be able to provide them with a bedroom they love.

some weekend nitty-gritty

2011-10-09T12:56:00.003-04:00

Congratulations, Tannis!
You won the Ewe Need It woolie wash.
Please email me so we can discuss the details regarding your prize.
__________

Guess what? TopBabyBlogs reset their vote count...

If you like what you see here, would you mind supporting us by clicking twice to vote?

A few months back, I made a commitment not to beg for this kind of thing. I think I've done a decent job, no? Anyway, this will be the only time I mention it until the votes reset again. And as always, you can vote daily by clicking on the TopBabyBlogs icon on the right side of this blog!

Thanks, and be sure to check out the big boys' room makeover reveal tomorrow!
Happy Sunday.

back it on up

2011-10-06T09:00:00.001-04:00

I don't know whether to be proud of myself for getting this much done or overwhelmed by the back-to-back daily posts. Nonetheless, I wanted to direct your attention to the last several posts here on the blog!

Friday - my favorite photo of Chris & I

Saturday - gushin' about Ames

Sunday - an outfit post

Monday - a mama makin' it work

Tuesday - a giveaway

I try not to base it the number of comments per post, but I'm trying to gauge things a little. What do you want to see more or less of? When would you like to see things posted? Do you turn off your computer on the weekends, or wake up super late? I'll keep on thinking my kids are awesome, and I'll always dress on the cheap - so no hurt feelings here, I promise! I'd just welcome your feedback.

The sisters want you to know that they

totally helped me on this lil' note just now:

cloth diapering series: a giveaway

2011-10-04T09:00:00.003-04:00

Who wants to win some wool wash?

My favorite wool product is going to one of you,
thanks to Ewe Need It!

Simply leave your name & email address below.

I'll draw a winner randomly on Saturday evening.

A few squirts of this in a sinkful of warm water gets woolies fresh & clean in no time. Our favorite scent is white tea & ginger, but you can choose from tons of options. Thanks, and be sure to check out Ewe Need It on Facebook, too!

This shop's proceeds go straight to medical bills...With a husband fighting cancer and a daughter with a mitochondrial disorder, Katie is seriously a mama makin' it work. I'd love to see her get some support!

Mamas Makin' It Work - #4

2011-10-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

this mama gets credit for turning me onto two things: Zuzii headbands & Motherlove nipple cream!

____________________

gretchen

Since the moment we found out our sweet Jemma was on her way - I've been a mama makin' it work! Through long nights, new mama emotions, and juggling the responsibilities of life I've tried to keep my focus on the season of motherhood I'm presently in.

In the last 2 years I've covered quite a bit of mama ground, here's a little summary of each season I've experienced makin' it work as a mama:

PREGNANCY

It all started when we saw those 2 lines confirming our pregnancy. The first tinge of motherhood overwhelmed me; it was mixed with laughter, fear, and excitment for all God had in store. I worked full-time through my pregnancy - 10 hour days with the height (or should I say width) of my pregnancy occuring during the summer months. My inital guess date was September 30th and I notified work of my plans to work up until then. Sure enough, my water broke the evening of the 30th shortly after I got home from work!

MATERNITY LEAVE

These precious days will be remembered like no other. Milk drenched clothes followed by snuggly naps with my girl. Tearful calls to my husband to pick up take-out because my greatest success of the day was getting dressed, not making a warm meal. When we decided I would return to work I chose to cherish every moment with Jemma - dishes, laundry, and other chores fell by the wayside. They were no longer important. Bonding with Jemma was my new job, my favorite job.

FULL-TIME WORK

Just as we established a great home routine I returned to work. I prioritized life to a T - fitting in only the essentials. We ate more take-out and freezer meals than I'd like to admit and our social life disappeared. A bi-monthly housecleaner was hired and I learned how to make a messy bun appear office appropriate. We were in survival mode! And survive we did :) By focusing inward on our family of three for a season we grew immensely in our faith, our marriage, as parents, and individuals.

WORKING FROM HOME

Currently, I am transitioning to a very flexible, part time, at home position. It has always been our dream to have me at home caring for our family. It hasn't been easy reaching this point, but I doubt coordinating naptimes with phone calls and emails will be a piece of cake either! I'm excited to make this new season work, because really, isn't that what being a mama is all about?

We're all in the same boat (or similiar ones), makin' it work the very best we can.

I wish you the very best as you move through your own seasons of motherhood - feel free to keep up on my journey over athttp://thatmamagretchen.blogspot.com/!

____________________

don't forget to email me if you wanna be

featured as a Mama Makin' It Work!

thrifty threads: a day for errands

2011-10-02T16:13:00.001-04:00

I'm into fashion, but I'm not into effort.

If you see me out & about on any given day,

chances are I'll be lookin' like this:

Navy cardigan - J. Crew outlet

Straight-leg jeans - Lucky Brand

Suwannee Bulldogs tee - from my late Memama, Helen Rose.

She was a die-hard football fan, and this tee is from my dad's high school.

I found it amongst her things after she passed. It still smells like her.

I rarely do my hair or a full face of makeup.

Some lipstick & fun earrings are enough to do the trick.

Earrings - Claire's, I think?

Lipstick - "Certainly Red" by Revlon

Lipgloss - "Air Kiss" by Clinique

I try to jazz up a t-shirt & jeans with fun shoes.

Metallic flats - Gap, clearance

I almost never wear my engagement/wedding ring combo by itself.

I'm forever switching things up to match my moods & outfits.

Here's my wedding band, paired with a gold ring

from my Nina. I think it was her mom's?

And now I'm off to the grocery store, where I will most certainly spend more than twice the cost of this outfit.

head over heels.

2011-10-01T09:00:00.002-04:00

this kid is so mysterious to me...

he would rather eat than do anything else, ever.
he eats more than my bigger boys at any given meal.
and yet, he's the size of most one-year olds.
he's all-out, leave-it-on-the-field, sweaty beast, 100% little boy.

he's cautious & obedient, remorseful when he's done wrong.

he loves hanging with his momma & daddy, but he rarely cuddles.

he constantly tells us he loves us... "uh-lob-um" over & over.

he signs more than he speaks.

most of the time, he knows his colors.

he's still bald on the very top of his head.

he says certain words backwards. "truck" = "kurt."

my heart will break a little the day he learns the correct pronunciation.

his infatuation with music & his sense of rhythm are beyond anything i've ever seen.

he can blow his nose, and will do so on command.

he retrieves pacifiers for his sisters and properly replaces them in their mouths.

he can suck through a straw. we rarely let him feed himself because of the mess.

when he whines, he makes a terribly obnoxious "nah" sound.

he gives me butterflies.

he is almost two years old. it flew by.

READER QUESTIONS

2011-09-30T08:25:00.001-04:00

What is your most favorite picture of you and Chris?

This photo was taken the night before our wedding, at the rehearsal dinner. It was hosted at the most beautiful house I've ever seen, owned by the sweetest mentors we've ever known.

Anyway, I was very overwhelmed and on the verge of tears the entire night. So many emotions! At the end of the evening, Chris stopped packing (his delicious homemade lasagna) up long enough to give me one of those hugs.

He has always made a point to try and keep me in the moment. He wants me to cast all of my cares upon Him, and then upon him. That hug absorbed all of my stress, all of my worry, all of my nerves...that hug was home.

last night's taco soup.

2011-09-26T08:02:00.005-04:00

One of our ongoing marriage arguments is use of the crock pot.

I use it ALL THE TIME. Chris gives me a hard time about it.

I guess it comes down to whose mama did what growing up?

Whatever. After yesterday, he is a believer.

This recipe came to me by way of a dear friend.

I modified it a bit to fit our family's tastes & preferences.

Per several Twitter requests, I'm posting it for your enjoyment!

TACO ~~SOUP~~ CHILI

(Christopher asked for a name change)

What you need:

1 pound ground beef

1 can corn

1 can kidney beans

1 can pinto beans

1 can black beans

1 can black olives

3-4 tomatoes

1 can tomatoes with chiles

1 packet taco seasoning

1 packet dry ranch dressing mix

Shredded cheese (garnish)

Sour creams (garnish)

Tortilla chips (garnish)

Prep work:

Brown ground beef in skillet.

Slice olives.

Cut tomatoes...
variety = chunked, sliced, & diced.

Crock Pot goodness:

Transfer beef from the stove.

Add everything else, except the three garnish items.

Cook for 8-9 hours. I cooked it overnight,

and left it on "keep warm" until we got home from church.

To serve:

Place a few tortilla chips in bowl.

Ladle ~~soup~~ chili into bowl.

Top with shredded cheese & sour cream.

This served five adults and two children, at 2-3 helpings apiece.

We had family over and ate it all day.

I only wish I had a photo...
they ate it all before it even crossed my mind!

Let's hear it for crock pots!

Feel free to send recipes my way!